It takes a village to raise a child

It takes a village to raise a child. I had never heard of this proverb before Suzy sent to me. And thinking about it i think it is so true.

This ancient African proverb teaches eternal truth. No man, woman, or family is an island. But in this century, community isn't always what it is supposed to be. We'd all like to think we live in a place where people care about others -- where people pitch in to help when things get rough -- where it's safe to leave the doors unlocked and let the kids play around outside.

This isn't always what we experience. Instead of community, we find alienation; looking for safety, we are attacked by crime; hoping for a better life for our kids, we encounter gangs and drugs and the lies of television. People often retreat behind closed and try to ignore their neighbors. Politicians preach envy and hate, dividing us further instead of working for reconciliation. Being poor these days just isn't what it used to be.

This affects all our children as times have changed
Nowadays, children are raised to fear and distrust nearly every adult stranger. Teachers and mentors and members of the community are afraid to say anything critical or to offer any form of correction, lest they be sued or directly attacked by the child’s family. Not only that, moral standards and ideals of excellence are seen as social relics of a past, and so need to be discarded. This most certainly is not the sentiment that gave rise to the African proverb.

I think the parents are the primary people responsible for raising the child. That being said, I do think that the "village", or people who affect the child's life definitely have a huge impact on how that child turns out, whether it's for the better or worse. People in general never realize the effect they have on others much less a child and should do all they can to ensure the best outcome possible.

Does the same go for C?
Does C see his life of people shying away from him frightened. So he does the same.
Does he think being ignored or verbally abused is the norm? Maybe that’s why he doesn't speak as he doesn't want to be rude to people!
Does he think it takes everyone years to be treated for being ill. So he puts up with it. Or just thinks that's the way it is. Etc.
It is hardly surprising C knows no better and its not just down to his autism or learning disability.
After all children grow up and learn from the ‘village’ around them.

It is happening to all our children.
And a thank you to Mootia for my lovely award!

Word Optical illusions

Read the color of the words below (not the actual words), try to do it as fast as you can. Is it difficult?

How many Fs can you see?

Finished files are the result

of years of scientific study

combined with the experience

of years...

Even though the letters are jumbled in the following paragraph,most people have no trouble reading it!

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Can you see 2 words here?

Can you see what the word Teach reflects into?

Casdok helping you to look at things differently.

Optical illusions

Please take care if epileptic

They seem to move yet they are static

Angry face on the left and happy on the right. Step back away from the screen and see what happens!

And here's one last one for today

Its interesting to look at things differently.

Star Trek Nearly Wordless Wednesday (I did try!)

To win this most sort after accolade all you have to do is add a caption to each picture or both together! (Couldn't decide which one to post so i posted both!)

Crystal Jigsaw make sure no one is peeking over your shoulder!

Maybe i should give these pics an 18 rating?

(Or would that encourage your imagination working over time?! But then again remember i do have a C and am not easily shocked!)

If that is all too much i would also like to mention a couple of blogs that i think are worthy of more readers;

Maizie, Why cats are better than dogs and Joshua.

Tell them Casdok sent you!

And last but not least, i would like to give Amanda this special Casdok star for making a superb video on autism and respect. Keep them coming Amanda!

Optical illusion

I have no idea how this works,





I have never been that good at optical illusions.





But the friend who sent me this said if you stare at it long enough, you should be able to see the ocean......................







I tried for a while, but I can't see ocean!

Does TV cause autism?

Aunt of Shrek phoned last night to ask if it was ok to let my young nephew watch more TV whilst he wasn’t very well, as she had heard too much TV for young children wasn’t very good.

This reminded me a year or so ago there was a study about TV causing autism! I kid you not! Does this mean no one was autistic before TV was invented??!
Over the years there have been many theories to the cause of autism. One of the first was it was the fault of refrigerator parenting! We now know this not to be true!
Then there was mercury and food intolerance, even rain, the MMR, and Indigo and Crystal children. And im sure many others. And I wonder what will be next! In the mean time I will just enjoy C for who he is.

In my opinion its genetic and environment.

So yes sis it is ok for 7 0f 8 to watch TV (but not too much!)! Hope he feels better soon xx

Parents have labels to.

When i tell people C is autistic, the usual response is 'hes good at drawing then'!!! Or they think of the Rainman, or the MMR! C is also low functioning. But i am now confused about using that label after reading other blogs by autistic people. And as for learning disability and special needs - we all have those!
C also has the label of Challenging behaviour and SIB (Self injurious behaviour). These labels conjure up all sorts of images. And as no 2 peoples behaviour is the same, peoples assumptions are usually wrong.
If i say C is disabled, people are then confused as he is not in a wheel chair!.
So labels can be misleading. But we need labels to get services.

As a parent of a son with disabilities my label is 'parent' or 'carer'. Which means, I'm over protective, over emotional, i want to much, i don't know what I'm talking about. I don't live in the real world. I scrounge of society and i make no contribution. And i have challenging behaviour! Etc etc.
Also with my label of single parent (and i wont mention where i was born or you will make more assumptions!) I don't stand much of a chance do i!!!! Hence my challenging behaviour!!!

Day Centres - Systemic injustice

Day Centres - Systemic injustice

I don’t want to be herded around or trained.
With nowhere to use the skills I’ve gained.

In an over crowed centre where one size fits all
With your risk assessments and safety protocols.

My life should not be based on stereotypes, labels and low expectations,
I want my own money and personalization.

I don’t want to be segregated and disabled by society,
I want respect, human rights and equality.

I want to be proactive and choose the things I do with my days,
Not stuck to a timetable and adult dehumanizing ways.

I want to employ my own staff who embrace neurodiversity,
Who don’t see me as a ‘service user’ or ‘client’ who needs pity.

I want to be empowered with a person centred plan
Citizenship and real choice like any modern day young man.

Am i asking too much?

I don’t want to be treated like a child.
I want respect.
I don’t want to be ‘trained’.
I want the opportunity to grow.
I don’t want to fester in a local day service, or in my home.
I want to be an active member of the community.
I don’t want pity or patronizing.
I want to be valued.
I don’t want neglect or abuse.
I want to feel safe.
I don’t want lack of resources to be an excuse.
I want a creative approach.
I don’t want institutionalised staff.
I want people who really care.
I don’t want people being complacent about my behaviour.
I want to be nurtured.
I don’t want special services.
I want opportunity.
I don’t want to ‘fit’ into existing services.
I want choice.
I don’t want to miss out because of risk assessment.
I want some fun.
I don’t want to be cured.
I want acceptance.
I don’t want charity.
I want integrity and dignity.
I don’t want to be disabled by society.


I just want what everyone else has

Autistic Rap

My mum kisses me, my family dissess me.
Society dehumanises me. Despises me. Criticize me.
They are fossilized. I do not apologise.

I am ridiculed, violated, bullied. Ignored.
I am stared at, laughed at spat at.
What have I done to you? I mind my own business.
I do not listen. I do not see or give you the third degree.
I am holistic, simplistic certainly not materialistic.

My disability is your prejudice, systemic injustice.
Your presumptions and assumptions.
Intolerance of my difference.
Your misperception I take objection.

I am not a disorder, im not a symptom. Its not catching.
Im not a label or a vegetable or a crystal angel.
Im not a lost soul or out of control.
Im not from outer space, or a charity case.
I am suppressed not possessed.
Institution is not a solution.

I don’t have a condition, im not an exhibition.
Im not an artist or a musician, or on a hostile expedition.
Maybe I will become a politician.

Im not an Einstein or like Rain man.
Im not Pinocchio or Peter pan.
Im not ill, I don’t want your pills
Or your out of date text book skills.

Im not a zoo exhibition or a freak show,
Im a feeling human from head to toe.
I can get lost in the worlds beauty
So don’t make me fit in your reality.
Why should I conform
To what you think is the norm

Like a Big Brother contestant
All we want is acceptance.
The world loves Happyfeet Nemo and Shrek
So should I paint my face green and be on Star Trek?

I create employment and opportunity,
I educate the world in diversity.
You cant bleed the devil out of me,
People like me have influenced history.
You need me.


So don’t cure me.
Don’t pity me just let me be.
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