Monday, 10 September 2007

Parents have labels to.

When i tell people C is autistic, the usual response is 'hes good at drawing then'!!! Or they think of the Rainman, or the MMR! C is also low functioning. But i am now confused about using that label after reading other blogs by autistic people. And as for learning disability and special needs - we all have those!
C also has the label of Challenging behaviour and SIB (Self injurious behaviour). These labels conjure up all sorts of images. And as no 2 peoples behaviour is the same, peoples assumptions are usually wrong.
If i say C is disabled, people are then confused as he is not in a wheel chair!.
So labels can be misleading. But we need labels to get services.

As a parent of a son with disabilities my label is 'parent' or 'carer'. Which means, I'm over protective, over emotional, i want to much, i don't know what I'm talking about. I don't live in the real world. I scrounge of society and i make no contribution. And i have challenging behaviour! Etc etc.
Also with my label of single parent (and i wont mention where i was born or you will make more assumptions!) I don't stand much of a chance do i!!!! Hence my challenging behaviour!!!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

So what contributions do carers make to society?

Casdok said...

We save the government a lot of money! Here are some carer facts.
1.    One in eight (1 in 8) adults are carers... around six million people
2.    Carers save the economy £57 billion per year, an average of £10,000 per carer
3.    Over 3 million people juggle care with work
4.    The main carer's benefit is £46.95 for a minimum of 35 hours, equivalent to £1.34 per hour
5.    1.25 million people provide over 50 hours of care per week
6.    People providing high levels of care are twice as likely to be permanently sick or disabled
7.    Over 1 million people care for more than one person
8.    58% of carers are women and 42% are men
9.    By 2037 the number of carers could have increased to 9 million
10.  Every year over 2 million people become carers

And i personally do a lot of voluntary work, sit on committees. Ive got policies changed. I Campaigne. Raise awareness. Support other carers, counselling.Etc.

Anonymous said...

Carers of the world unite!
It is frustrating how the world sees us. But when its a family member what are we supposed to do???

violet_yoshi said...

It's interesting how people only associate disablity with being wheelchair bound. All people have different levels of ability to cope and function.

It's like, I read somewhere. Someone on the spectrum said, "Don't complain about my "ticks", when you tap your nails, or smoke when you're bored or stressed"

Alot of the problem as I see it with labels, is the person being labeled is made to be seen as that much different from those who are not labeled.

Everything that would be considered natural for a "normal" person is targeted and labled as wrong. Do "normal" people flail their arms when they're stressed? No, but they do behave in ways that if put in the same context might be considered a "tick".

A major problem I've had is the idea that doing something clearly self-destructive as a way to deal with stress. Like, drugs, smoking, over-extertion. That is socially accepted, at least it is more than how those on the spectrum deal with stress.

What does this teach already perhaps impressionable spectrum children? Learn to drown your stress in a self-destructive behaviour, like those "normal" people? You can't have a anti-drug assembly, then turn around and act as if smoking is less of a problem than a spectrum way of dealing with stress.

I find it amazing how NTs can be so blind to some of ways they behave that is a major problem towards others. We live in a society run by NT people who think in a childish black and white way. Good or bad, NT or Autistic. This even applies to sizeism issues. Thin = Good Fat = Bad. It's amazing how someone who has enough of a brain to see how obviously infantile these claims are, are expected to survive.

I don't see many people on the spectrum with that amount of sheer prejudice. Maybe the NTs are afraid that there are people who are better than them, and that their way of life is going to be no longer acceptable. So the best thing they can do is marginalize those that threaten their place at the top.

Anonymous said...

Your last two paragraphs here hit it home for me as well. Although I would have used more curse words! :-)

violet_yoshi said...

Anonymous, it took me awhile to learn not to use choice curse words when talking about these issues. ;)

Casdok said...

Violet, you make some very intersting comments!
Thank you.

Ashley's Mom said...

Thanks for visiting my site and leaving a comment. I referenced your label post on my blog today and also included your blog on my sites to visit list.

Thanks,
Deborah