Thursday, 29 May 2008

Visits to new home

Putting C in situations where i know he will self injure is something i have spent his life trying to avoid or find inventive ways round. But there are some things like washing and leaving school you cant avoid.

Transitions are stressful! And that’s just me! I cant begin to imagine what it must be like for C. I have now taken C to his new home twice. The first time he was extremely anxious (I was glad of his helmet) and the second time he found very distressing. He was very bewildered and confused and upset. Some old behaviours have reappeared.
Here’s C acclimatising to his new room/ looking for ways to escape.
I hadn’t been back since applying for the funding. So I was very relieved that I still felt C will benefit from the move when he has settled. The facilities are more than i could have hoped for but much more importantly the attitude of the staff is positive, open and up to date. They have their own psychology team as well as art, music and speech therapists so C will have access to these if he wants them. As he is now an ‘adult’ it is all his choice (in theory!)
To keep myself busy and positive I have been making things for his new room. C loves watching reflective light and will loose himself in these CD pics.

And I have been rug making, they make great wall hangings as well as softening the blows his head takes.

To answer some of your questions
Mima - 6 weeks to go! Which isnt nearly as long as it should be or i would have liked.

Niksmom - a lot lot closer only 40 mins away :)

Chaininmagic - Thankfully everyone is taking Cs head banging very seriously. But yes I still am a nervous wreck!

Honeysuckle said and I couldn’t agree more ‘isn't it sad that young people without someone able to fight their corner will end up without any help?’
I looked at 42 homes over 2 years. I was very fortunate to be able to do this and then go through the funding process.

Menopausaloldbag - Yes it is a full time place (but he will still come home). How do I feel? A range of emotions. Excited for Cs future, hopeful that i have found the right place for him. Petrified about his head banging, especially in the short term. Upset that some people feel I am now at the end of my parenting and can now get a life, or whats the point of so much resources being put into a young man with Cs level of disability, and other such remarks. Plus all the other feelings a mother has when a child leaves school and goes into the world (times 100!)

Stinking Billy - Thank you!

Monday, 12 May 2008


Thank you for all your comments and emails.
So what have I been up to apart from having time to clean my house and grow a few more grey hairs?
A couple of weeks ago after a particularly bad head banging session C ended up in hospital again. But I was able to use this to speed up the final funding decision for his new adult placement, as it clearly showed that someone with Cs level of self injurious behaviour needs a long and clear transition plan, and time had been running out.
We had been left hanging whilst the powers that be had xmas holidays, moved office and tried to pass the funding to other departments etc. It had even gone to their solicitors, only to find they couldn’t get out of it.

So we got the full funding for the package that C needs for his transition and adult place.
A big relief.

Last week we had a meeting with everyone involved with C plus staff from the new place. I was a bit of a nervous wreck the few days leading up to the meeting.
But I was very relieved and somewhat surprised that for once people were being honest and taking the severity of C behaviour so seriously (usually its swept under the carpet as they don’t want to be seen as not coping) .
So I came away with a moving date and a very detailed transition plan that I felt happy with even though still very apprehensive. And the new home has a place available for him.

I will be taking C for his first of many visits in a few weeks to his ‘adult’ home. I will let you know how it goes!