Sunday, 10 October 2010

'Diddlyland'


C turned 22 recently. C in the same week was taken to Diddlyland by staff.
What image does this project to the public - to C?
That it’s ok to treat adults as kids?
Was there any thought or consideration for C's intrinsic value as an adult, as an individual?

Was there respect for C as a person first and not just as a set of behaviours. C’s Autism/learning disability does not alter his essential worth.

I fought for years for C to have the best education, support, therapies etc so he could achieve social inclusion in the adult world. Not this. Again. Contradicts everything I believe in, fought for, raised awareness for and worked towards with C.

C may very well have enjoyed this as he likes trains. But it doesn’t take much to be creative and find something more appropriate rather than maybe assuming C doesn’t know any better as he doesn’t speak and you can’t measure his IQ. The noises he makes may sound like babble but this does not mean you should babyfy him as he is communicating with himself and his environment and gives value to who C is.

We should be enriching and opening up Cs world, expanding his experience supporting him to grow and not stagnating him in perpetual childhood.

How can C grow in self confidence if low expectations are projected on to him?

To me this is staff demonstrating ‘Theory of mind.’ They are not understanding or relating to C. Imposing what they think from what they have always done.

A photo paints a thousand words. What does it say to you?
Some comments from various walks of my life:

As a parent of a young autistic child I find this frightening for my son’s future.

You must be livid. If anyone did that to my child I would hang draw and quarter them.

You should be grateful for what you get and not rock the boat. The staff are doing their best.


My daughter still likes to play with childish toys. I am weaning her off these to more sensory adult things. There are plenty about these days. But that is behind closed doors. I feel very strongly what we need to say to the public and staff.


In this day and age there is simply NO EXCUSE for reinforcing the public's stereotypical view of autistic people as lesser citizens in this way, and whichever so-called 'carers' were involved in this fiasco are fortunate they weren't exposing MY son to public ridicule like this.

As a refrigerator mum - you shouldnt care!!!

Where is the dignity and respect that our people with LD deserve? They are not adult children...this type of activity is taking us back to the dark days of Institutional care.... and that is part of the problem..... we don't want 'Care'...  we want  acceptance  and meaningful  lives for our people. They need respect and support to enable them not childish activities that only give a picture of pity to anyone observing them in this type of environment. They are PEOPLE FIRST and last.... the staff need more  training...     this is totally unacceptable..... C is an Adult.....  his rights to be treated as such have been negligent.  The staff should be ashamed of themselves!

I thought the CQC changed its regs to include dignity. Are the staff not trained?


Sorry I had to laugh. From Normalization to Personalization and Right to control to Diddlyland!!


Education staff and care staff have a very different mindset. Staff are the only barriers.


Illustrates well the Social Model of disability.

I am a young man with autism and I felt really disgusted when I saw the pictures of C on the Diddly Land train. He is obviously much too old to be on a ride like that as it is intended for young children. I felt very sorry for him as he was most probably being laughed at. He has the same human rights as anybody else and nobody else would be humiliated like this at the age of 22. I hope that me writing this will make sure this doesn't happen to someone else.

This is baby sitting.

60 comments:

Bonnie said...

I totally agree! I don't know why our older kids are still treated like little ones based on lack of verbalization or behavior. It's odd, because when a teen or 20 something of a "typical" nature act immature, people kill themselves to make them change, to let them know of their foibles so they change. But with our kids, people feed into their immature ways, even those these "ways" may not be of a conscious nature, but only out of necessity. I recall in a great book I read called "A Regular Guy; Growing Up with Autism" by Laura Shumaker, an incident where she sent her son, who was in his late teens, a bunch of balloons for his birthday when he was away, staying at a group setting. Balloons were something he had "stimmed" on for years and really enjoyed, but in her mind, it was something that would make him happy. She was taken to task on her sending them by one of his counselors, who told her she should keep in mind his age now, and not enable him to continue his immature habits and stims. It hit me as sad at first, but it's so true. And as you said, despite the fact that C likes trains, perhaps they could have taken his group to a real train station and let them take a nice ride through the country, so much more fitting, since they are adults!

Rosie said...

Why?? Recently I went to great playground for young kids and I was really surprised when I saw a elderly adult group with disabilities there, they were standing around watching the younger kids as they themselves were too big to actually play on the equipment and it was a very busy so there really nothing for them to do! they were there for some time just standing around looking lost. I can understand there was a nice walk near by and picnic tables but why actually take them into the playground where there is really anything to do surely there are more adult places where they can do physical activities

Anonymous said...

Oh my! The Wild Boy of Diddlyland! Lol!!

Joeymom said...

We walk a fine line here with letting Joey be himself- in love with Wow Wow Wow Wubbzy and Toy Story at age 8- and trying to keep up with age appropriate toys, most of which are designed to be played with in ways Joey isn't interested in playing, or can't process fast enough to do.

But this one is dirt easy. There is no need to take an adult to a baby park. There are plenty of "all ages" places to go- a farm with a hayride. A real train. An interactive natural history museum.

The author said...

The trouble is that the notion of age appropriateness for anything is social construction in itself, and there are several ways (as you illustrate in this example) in which the social construction is used as a means of discrimination and distinction.

On the other hand the enforcement of age norms is also a form of social oppression, I guess one way that many adults escape from the tyranny of age stratification is to become a children's entertainer.

I wonder what the driver of the train feels about his dignity?

Mind you societal infantilisation is something that it is hard to escape from with any number of disabilities, I can recall many incidents of how my mum would be treated simply because she was sitting in a wheelchair.

Becca said...

I'm sickened. They should truly be ashamed of themselves, whoever thought that this was appropriate, and whatever total arsehole told you that you should be grateful - how dare they?! They are not doing their best - or rather, if this is truly the best they can do, they are not fit to be responsible for the welfare of other people.

I am reminded of the ‘carer’ who remarked to me that my friend P (who has profound physical and communication impairments) was being naughty... as she had not defecated on schedule after being given a suppository.

Any chance of, say, C hooking up with a group of trainspotters or model train enthusiasts instead?

I'm 25, autistic with profound physical impairments, and live independently with round the clock support. If I want to see some animals I go to Tatton Park and watch the deer rather than Old Macdonald's petting zoo, if I want to have some food out then I go to Tampopo not Burger King... I don't understand, it seems so obvious, as we grow up so do the ways we enjoy ourselves (at least when in public, what I do at home is between me and my teddy).

I am very cross on C's behalf, what they have done is not okay at all.

Socrates said...

The pictures brought no words to mind, just a tightening of my guts as it brought to mind my own relationship with the Learning Disability Partnership.

I'm finding the humiliation almost unbearable.

Maggie May said...

A pink child's train for an adult man is quite insulting. In fact, very insulting. It is also very disappointing.
You must be greatly saddened and discouraged.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Looking for Blue Sky said...

This made me feel very upset and uncomfortable. I have been fighting on behalf of Smiley for years so that she is treated in an age-appropriate way. And she knows: she wants to have Lady Gaga songs sung to her NOT Twinkle Twinkle. I have fought for aprons to be used not bibs, maracas for shaking, not rattles. I would hate for something like this to happen, and Smiley has a severe intellectual disability ((Hugs))

Lynn said...

Oh, this makes me sad. As others have said, if he loves trains how hard is it to just take him on a real train? We struggle with age-appropriateness all the time, even with my daughter being just six...she still loves baby toys and videos. To me, there is a difference between allowing some things at home (usually as a reinforcer) and taking them out in public. There is some gray, but not in this case...that should not have happened.

bbsmum said...

On the one hand I've fought against BB being denied something he really wants just because someone considers it 'not age appropriate' - as The Author says, age appropriateness is a social construction. If BB chooses to go to the library to borrow a Thomas the Tank Engine dvd, that's his choice and I'm going to support that. I suppose the difference is that this wasn't C's choice, it was someone else's assumption that it's what he'd want. That's sad: why didn't they make more effort to find out how C himself wanted to spend his birthday?

Rachel said...

I am quite shocked...what stands out to me most is your ability to keep standing up to it all though- i feel exhausted sticking up for my DD and she's only 7, so you're pretty amazing to still have the fight left in you :)

oh- and the refrigerator mother comment made me laugh!

Tilly said...

My Nipper would have loved it - but then he's 4 and not 22! This seems like a terrible lack of understanding on the part of those responsible for your son's care. The only up-side is that C probably enjoyed himself but that's no excuse for such lack of thought and consideration.

The author said...

And then of course there is also "the voice" and I challenge anyone who has heard it not to know what I mean.

For all your "dignity" you might as well be wearing pink fluffy bunny pajamas when some professional addresses you with "the voice" because they have read your lable.

kathleen said...

This is a hard one for me..What is dignity? One of my boys very much loves Thomas the tank engine-he is going to be 10. We had an opportunity to take him to ride on Thomas..so we did. Now, most of the people riding were very little children..I had discussed this with my boy-told him that this was a ride for very small toddlers..he still wanted to go. So we went and he rode-very aware that he was rather large-considering the other kids were teeny in comparison. He didn't care-he had a lovely time. His dignity was his own. Now I have been criticized here and there by other parents for allowing him to be public in his love of childish things-my thought is-that when he is ready he will move on..and he is-slower than his peers, but moving on none the less. I don't ever want him to feel that he is somehow "less than" because he doesn't have the same age appropriate likes as the other kids. However-I am behind you 100 zillion percent in this situation. It would appear that because "c" is non verbal..it is somehow ASSUMED that he is unaware. That he is somehow "less than" anyone else his age. That is horrifying. It shows a lack of respect and understanding towards "C" as a young man. I don't understand what would be so hard in taking him on another sort of train outing..perhaps a train he could ride on with his peers..The staff missed an opportunity to give your son an adventure for his birthday...Happy Birthday btw!

Nora said...

C does not belong on a pink train. It is very sad that the staff thought he did. It is an insult to him as the human being he is at his age. Surely something much more appropriate could have been chosen. It is sad that we have to make a farce out of an outing for an autistic 22 year old young man.

Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

I'm sorry to hear about this. So discouraging and thoughtless. Hopefully they can learn from their mistake instead of perpetuating this disrespectful portrayal of adults with special needs. Sending love to you and C.

Cheri said...

When I work as a teacher aid in the local high school, we struggle all of the time to make things appropriate. The students worked in and ran a once a week coffee shop, a twice a week pretzel shop, and did the recycling for the school. They were awesome. But there we always problems. The home-ec teacher wanted to invite them in so that her students could learn about birth defects. She would have her students sit and color coloring books with them. I would be furious, but the teacher I worked for allwed it. She also let them watch movies usually every Friday. Not age appropriate movies usually - usually they were disney movies for younger kids (Lion king etc). I always tried to explain to the partners (students who came in to help from the "typical" population) that those movies were not appropriat. They would say they liked to watch them - but of course, the didn't watch them when they got together with their friends. Some people just don't get it I guess.

I often see the group homes here take their residents to the mall. They wander around doing nothing. It might be more appropriate, but it should also have more of a purpose and be more fun and less of a spectacle. I guess that's the point isn't it? People with disabilities should be made spectacles. If the disability is only physical, you can bet appropriate accomodations are made. If it is mental disability - no one seems to really care.

I might need a ladder to come down from this soap box! :)

bbsmum said...

Kathleen raises a valid point: there's a fine line between protecting someone's dignity and imposing your own values on what they 'should' or 'shouldn't' like. I think it all comes down to whether it's their genuine choice or someone else's assumption that learning disability equals childishness.

Lane said...

How on earth could they think this was an appropriate place to take C.

This undermines everything you strive for.

Akelamalu said...

((Shaking head)) How can they possibly think this was appropriate? If C loves trains surely taking him to see a real train would have been a better option?

Socrates said...

For example "The Nene Valley Railway"

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I'm trying to think of how adults get pleasure vs. children. Bearing that in mind, how would C have better enjoyed the day? Certainly not crammed into a tiny seat...the point you raise about dignity has me thinking.

Anonymous said...

You're the one who put him in this residential center. Yet another one not working? Quit putting him in these places then. They are all the same. If you think the staff gives a damn you are fooling yourself. All these places do is babysit.

Terri said...

Well, aren't some folks rather cranky and bossy?

I agree with you, this was a horrible choice. There are so many other options--a real amusement park, train museums, a train-ride somewhere... Staff's infantalizing view of him traps him.

These things require respect, some planning and some finesse, I think. Two people hanging out at the mall is nice... ten is a spectacle. I went to Disney with my friends in my 20s--not Diddy. Riding trains, collecting, even model trains are all adult activities... kiddie trains just aren't (and being an employed person who is running things has inherent dignity.)

This is absolutely new thinking for people that work with this population--sadly you are pioneering just as you were when he was in school. I am sorry that these ideals are not more contagious and I think "they just can't" lets everyone off way too easy.

I am sorry you are still having to change the world, I am sure it gets exhausting and discouraging. Hang in there, C is lucky to have you in his corner.

Julie L. said...

I'd like to think the staff did not mean to intentially hurt or embarassas C and that it is more likely they didn't think that one through very well. It is likely that this incident was more a matter of ignorance less a matter of mal intent. You are right. This incident shows that there is a need for staff training on the topic of planning activities.

This was a very good learning opportunity for the staff at C's house. It's lucky that C and other people with disabilities have you to help get the word out. It's important to consider age and what is appropriate for adults with disabilities before planning activities for them.

Ron said...

Hello Dear Casdok~

I was going to say exactly what Akelamalu shared...

"If C loves trains surely taking him to see a real train would have been a better option?"

Exactly..."this is baby sitting."

Sending much love and a big hug to both you and C.

((( X Casdok + C X )))

Mrs. C said...

*gasp*

I'm so sorry you're dealing with people like anonymous. Anonymous has NO STINKIN' CLUE how hard a decision like that is for everyone. May God bless you, Casdok, for doing what you think is best for C always.

And THANK YOU for putting C's story out here for us to discuss and for being so open about your struggles whilst endeavouring to keep C's and his friends' privacy.

I really liked what "the author" said before... we do put such a social expectation on ourselves, don't we, to enjoy certain things at certain ages. My middle autistic boys (ages 9 and 10) enjoy Lord of the Rings and Teletubbies. And seeing your story, I find myself of two minds.

One is that *whew* at least they are taking these adults out into the community. And they don't seem to be abusive. I would probably (as a parent) classify this under "things I won't fight about because I have enough other stuff going on."

Then again, if you DON'T have "enough other stuff going on" right now, it may help the staff to hear your point of view.

Hugs to you and keep up the great work! :)

Chris H said...

Yep, this is totally wrong!
And just what the hell is a 'refrigerator mum'???

SuperLittleMen said...

This is something I fear for my son, although he only has mild aspergers but as soon as people hear this, he is treated differently, for some reason it is fine to let him run around and make his own rules up of a team game, because he has ASD. if another child follows suit they are soon brought back into line, why isnt it the same for my son, how is he ever going to learn rules and games and get any sense of playing with others if noone makes the effort.

A trip to a train museum for C might have been more appropriate

Gran said...

Wrong, wrong, wrong. I too would like to know what "refrigerator mum" means.

Jayne said...

This type of crappy treatment should have gone out with the horse and carriage.

Foxxy One said...

Very very well said (the refrigerator mom comment made me laugh too).

Amanda said...

Some people are so ignorant. :-(

Grace App said...

WTF! I think this demonstrates the staff's delayed development of "Theory of Mind" - a failure to imagine what C's genuine interests might be and then try them.
Not so difficult when you have an excellent blog showing him on The London Eye, the glass floor on a sky-scraper thingie, a night club and all the other cool stuff that he does with you.

I take Gracie to "The Bear in the Big Blue House" everyday because she requests it with her iPhone. Not because we want to watch her squeezed into an amusement that is designed for 3 year olds.
She has the means to make a choice and she makes it. She chooses a coin, she puts it in the slot and she presses play for the three goes you get for €2. I don't give a flying feck about the noises she makes as she genuinely likes it, but it is her daily choice.



I am so sorry that you and C have endured the worst of "The Bless em's" yet again.

xx

mommy~dearest said...

Oh my dear... I fully agree with you. However, next time you may want to rethink protecting people's identities like that in red, because it rather looks like you shot their heads off. Just a thought. ;)

Hugs for you and C~

Adoption of Jane said...

I always get a tiny headache when there are so many different opinions within our own community. I personally don't really give a darn how anything is projected to the public. If it makes C happy great. If its damaging in anyway... not good. By C's age I would hope his caregivers and therapists would know enough about him to make these type of decisions. If not the problem isnt a pink train or what the public thinks the problem is who is overseeing his care? Who is in charge of the decisions for that care. Screw the public and their judgemental thoughts. They are a product of our poor educational system and therefore to weigh their opinion is ridiculous. What is good for one Autistic or Special Needs Person may not be for another. It is up to us to provide caregivers and therapists whom have the same opinons as our own. If another parent of another ASD person disagrees they should take a long walk on a short pier and understand that we need to all work together, because we are all we have.

By the way... hi Casdok! Thanks for visiting my blog.. great being back to see yours again! I've been out of commission for awhile! Busy Summer!

Yuji said...

You articulated your outrage and frustration well. It makes those of us with younger kids more aware of the battles we have yet to face. Thanks for sharing.

Niksmom said...

Oh, Cadok! When I saw these on your FB page, I didn't know what to say bc I didn't want to offend. But, yikes! How could anyone have thought this outing through, really? Unless C has expressed some utter fscination with kiddie-land rides and such, I would imagine it's not much of a stretch to know that this was NOT an appropriate choice. *sigh*

And, to Anonymous, unless youa re walking in the same shoes as Casdok, please don't judge and denigrate the decisions she's made or the actions she's taken to ensure the best possible quality of life for her adult son. Yes, there is very much wrong with the system of services and supports for adults with disabilities around the world. But sometimes, one must do the best they can with the choices available. I hope, if I am forced to make such decisions when my own son is older that I will be half as thoughtful and diligent as Casdok has been and continues to be.

Paulene Angela said...

By coincidence I am sitting here with my two life time girl friends who happen to be carers based in the UK! I could not resist the opportunity to pose several questions regarding this post.

One said: if the mother has any specific likes/dislikes she should let the carers know beforehand, they are only doing their job by taking a service user on a “safe” train ride where they feel he or she will feel secure, the age group and colour of the train would come second.

Second one:, well one of my service users who is a 34 year old male would probably love that ride and ask to go again and again, whereas the majority of the others service users would find it far too slow and boring, I’d have to take them to an adult park.

However, they both agreed that probably they would have looked for something more stimulating such as a trip to the zoo or even a real train ride.

I stick by my original line,
C should have a choice,
it’s his special day
and that should be respected,
and we know he loves those donut tyre rides, was he asked?

I do hope the staff have a burst of imagination for Christmas.

Pxxx ((( )))

Debs said...

I can see why you'd be so angry with C being taken on this ride.

Surely if he likes trains couldn't they have arranged to take him on a real one instead?

Dianne said...

there must have been a place with trains more suitable for a young man of 22

I have trouble with age appropriateness though as many things I do are labeled as silly and childish - I love walking in the rain and splashing in puddles and kicking leaves and singing silly songs very loud and have been told by some that I'm "making a scene"

it's so good to hear from you, your Sheldon comment made me smile

hugs lady

Marita said...

Unbelieveable! There are plenty of adult train ride options, why go to a kiddy park.

Dr. Deb said...

I agree. Why hasn't someone created a park that is more appropriate? Seems like it would be a great idea.

Warty Mammal said...

Your point about not infantilizing those with special needs is well taken. I wonder how the care center would respond to a list of alternative recreation options?

I also wonder if, in addition to sheer thoughtlessness, budgets play a part in the choices. It's probably far cheaper to cram all of the people on a kiddie ride than it is to take them to a train museum or the London Eye. However, there should still be many options which aren't infantilizing. Gardens to absorb the texture and color of flowers, for example.

Anonymous said...

Mrs C. This is BIG stuff and very important.
What I think Casdok is trying to illustrate here is an overall attitude, one which we see happening in the adult world all the time and one that needs to be updated. So unless we address it then this sort of practice will continue. If they are treating C like this in public what is happening behind closed doors especially if they don’t realise what they are doing is wrong.

E said...

Anonymous please don't hide behind anonymity. If your opinions are worth sharing surely they are worth sharing in the open. Otherwise they are just mean and no matter what they are cowardly.
Casdok, Anon's opinions reflect her biases and frames of reference. Not yours.
But then you already know that.
I am sorry you have another educational opportunity. It sucks. No two ways about it. But you are bringing enlightenment and helping people who will in turn help other people. You are making a difference. I think maybe you and C have been called to this work.
That doesn't mean it still suck...love from Vermont

Amber DBTD said...

Casdok,

I'm so sorry. I have been feeling very anxious over whether all the fighting I do for my son will ever end up helping much at all, and your post really saddens me. I guess all we can really do is keep on fighting. I like to think we were given our kids for a reason- and even though it's stressful, frustrating, exhausting, we have no choice but to keep fighting- even if only because that's why we're here.

jazzygal said...

I don't know how I missed this post Casdok but somehow I did. You are right to be enraged. Very upsetting indeed.The staff could have easily consulted with you first as regards a suitable outing for C. Yes, a nice trip on a real, steam perhaps, train would have been nice. And didn't you blog before that you brought him to a night club?? The staff might have enjoyed that too!

xx Jazzy

Debbie said...

I was upset by the very idea of it. Then I read some of the comments and they have upset me even more! No one has the right to criticize your feelings.

Miz Kizzle said...

How did C. feel about Diddlyland? Given the choice, what would he like to do in his down time? You've taken him to clubs, did he seem to enjoy that or did the loud music, crowds and flashing lights bother him?
To some autistic people, a club would be sensory overload hell but if C. enjoyed it then that's fine. I don't necessarily think Diddlyland is a bad choice for an outing for autistic young people but if C. hated it then he shouldn't be forced to go there.

TherExtras said...

ditto all the comments supporting your efforts to have C treated as an adult.

Thanks to joeymom for using the term 'baby train'. My first thought was about the new accessible park for persons with disabilities in my town, Morgan's Wonderland (Dr. Deb). At MW person's of all ages mix, but in comparing it to Diddlyland I am confident that the whole atmosphere is not infanticizing people but giving them the freedom to explore and enjoy without the usual barriers. Wounded warriors as well as children enjoy Morgan's Wonderland.

No doubt you have already addressed this with C's group home staff. No doubt the unsupportive remarks have not daunted you. You have helped others, again, by sharing C's experiences with the rest of us.
Barbara

Suburbia said...

Really sad to read this. How ridiculous!

Foresam said...

Yes, you should see that he is treated like an adult. Why don't you get him a hooker?

Jorgo said...

Hi Casdok, I deeply repect the passion you bring to your and C's life. I would suggest to you that the ability to still have fun and get into life - like the clubbing picture of C - is what we miss the most as we "age." He may have gotten on the train because he wanted to?
All the best to you and C and maintain your energy, Hugh

Jorgo said...

Thankyou for the link to "refrigerator Mother" - how dumb are people sometimes?? YOU are lovely, courageous, and do a marvellous job with C! It is OK to feel sometimes that you don't, BUT it should be QUICKLY dismissed!!

VioletYoshi said...

I have a saying, "Do whatever floats your boat, as long as it doesn't sink someone else's ship." I feel because of society's strict code of conduct for how men should behave, that it's more difficult for men on the Autism Spectrum.

When a woman takes interest in childish things, it's seen as cute. If a guy takes interest in childish things, it's like the end of the world. How dare a man ride a pink train, that makes me uncomfortable. Oh and lest we forget, a man can't be anywhere alone around children, should he be assumed to be a well, not so nice person to children, to avoid using triggering language.

I think complaining about C riding on a train is ridiculous, do these people find it just as absurd as an adult visiting Disneyworld or Disneyland? I mean, C is happy, nobody's harmed. For all I know, the kids may have been giggling saying, "Check out Mermaid Man* on the train!" good times for all.

*In case you arent familiar with Spongebob Squarepants, Mermaid Man is a retired superhero, I'm in no way suggusting unlike some people, that riding a pink train makes C less manly and calling him a mermaid to further that. Just so there aren't any misunderstandings here.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately most staff in these dumps are full of moronic, low paid trash. They are babysitters plain and simple. Any parent who thinks they can send their autistic child/adult to residential and get quality services-- well they are fooling themselves.

The Glasers said...

We don't seek services for our 21yo daughter with autism, even though she is not ready for independence yet. I try to respect her as a person. Some of her interests are age appropriate (iPod Touch loaded with all kinds of music, funny youTube videos, comedies like Ferris Bueller or Rat Race, the newest Harry Potter flick, etc.). Others are not age appropriate but they are *HER* interests: Big Comfy Couch DVDs, Beanie Babies, her "babies' (the three dolls she took trick or treating this year), etc.

When we focus on the person and what they really enjoy, then we are on the right track. It's harder to do that when you are herding around groups of people who have a diffability in common but not much else. That's why we look for activities that interest her (art classes) and not the local special needs board.

Anonymous said...

yet no one thinks twice when adults want to go to Disneyland