Friday, 24 April 2009

No holes

I’ve always tried to be positive and creative from dealing with smearing, sleep deprivation to not eating and head banging. These are all forms of communication – I just have to try and work out what C is trying to say. Sometimes it is quite obvious and other times it has taken years to work out. After 20 years I think I can read C quite well! The majority of stress for both of us still comes from the so called ‘professionals’ who think they know better. I wonder if that will ever change? The move from an up to date forward thinking school to a group home who is still in the last century has been quite an eye opener, and at times soul destroying. I am still working on moving C – getting there slowly.

But anyway I digress as I want to share this recent photo with you. A rare moment with C as he doesn’t like to be touched (which makes helping him dress and wash etc interesting!) a moment that needs no words.


"I want to live in a world where I can say 'I am Autistic' and not be expected to be a bundle of abnormalities and deficits. I want the word 'Autism' to provoke not a mental defect or something that needs 'fixing', but an image of a wonderful and unique person with a wonderful and unique way of being and experiencing the world." - Amanda Baggs


There are no holes in C's Sky.

101 comments:

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

Boo was really cuddly last night.

So I pulled him out of school today to spend some time together.

He wasn't cuddly today.

:(

This pic made me cry with joy.

Debs said...

That truly is a beautiful picture!

bullet said...

What a lovely picture. C clearly loves you very much.

rainbowmummy said...

wonderful :0)

and pssst, I found the missing peice of the puzzle, it was in autism speaks logo, lol

Paulene Angela said...

The image says it all, I can feel the sheer joy. Magic Moments to cherish.

For a few years my son was fortunate enough to attend an excellent school, there were no red carpets, but it had teachers with hearts. I'm thinking positive for C's new home.

Hugs, Paulene x

Jen said...

What a wonderful picture, and how lovely for both of you :-) My son's been wanting me to massage his back on his last few weekly visits, and I can't express how much that cuddle time means.

I'm glad that things are still going ahead with the move- I hope that they start moving a bit more quickly!

BenefitScroungingScum said...

I love this photo, you both just look so joyful in each other. Isn't C becoming a good looking young man too!
I hope things get sorted soon with C's home, keeping everything crossed it goes through at a decent speed. Lots love, BG x

Chris H said...

How gorgeous that you DO get a cuddle sometimes!

Hammer said...

Great pic!

The Dotterel said...

What a lovely photo!

DES said...

Priceless....just priceless :D Sure hope the move for C comes soon. Its like waiting for Christmas :P

tks for sharing such a beautiful moment! :)

Marita said...

Such a beautiful picture.

Beth said...

Such a beautiful, precious picture - capturing the smiles, the happiness and the love.

Cath said...

To hold your much loved son - a picture most definitely speaks louder and more words! You both look so incredibly relaxed and happy. Thank you for sharing your joy.

I like C's sky. :)

Betsy said...

Wow....doesn't he look like you!?!
What a wonderful moment and beautiful picture to treasure!

Jeni said...

That is such a fantastic and great photo -just a delight to view. Hope the move goes well and things settle in with better results in the future.
Peace.

Queenbuv3 said...

Great photo! I really hope you find a good place for your son to live. God bless : )

deb said...

Lovely photo.

Robert said...

I TOTALLY understand the issues around moving C, having been there myself with my son. And the communication problems - my son is very patient and will try for AGES to get me to understand what he is trying to tell me. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to want to communicate and find it nigh impossible to be understood.

Although I'm not now a single parent, for years I have been the only parent looking after my son's welfare. It isn't easy! All the fighting with the authorities... I am now very lucky to have 3 grown-up daughters who spend time with their brother; but I can imagine the pressures you have to bear right now.

Best wishes for the future!

Me said...

That is a really beautiful picture. BOTH of you look very happy.

bobbie said...

This is the most beautiful picture I could imagine!

Ah, those professionals. they are so exasperating, even for those of us who run into their "I know better" thinking in our every day lives. How much harder it must be for you, when you know your son so well, and they know only what is in their books, and perhaps in a manilla case folder on their desks.

claire p said...

What a wonderful photo. You both look so happy. I know what you mean about getting to know what they are trying to say. Jamie makes up his own signs and they can take some working out!!! Still one or two defeating me.

C looks so happy in both photos. I hope that continues. If there's no happiness then what is there?

Maggie May said...

That is a wonderful picture of you both and I really do appreciate seeing it. You can be sure that C really loves you and that you love him.

Rebel Mother said...

It makes it all worthwhile - for one moment like this. Magical. x

She's like the wind said...

Lovely xx

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

What a wonderful picture--that looks like progress to me--and I'm glad you got to capture the moment on film!

kathleen Leopold said...

I love how your arms cross over each others in the picture-so strong so unified. Together they make an X-it reminded me of the x's people sign on letters representing kisses..

Suburbia said...

A beautiful beautiful photo, and the words brought tears to my eyes. You must treasure these moments dearly, when you can hug C without him minding too much.

mumkeepingsane said...

What a lovely picture! I'm sorry it's so slow going getting C moved. I hope it happens soon. :)

nitebyrd said...

A wonderful picture. Those are the faces of happiness.

Mrs. C said...

Look! It's twins! :]

You guys do look almost exactly alike.

As hard as it is for me not to hear my son speak, it's harder when I want to tell him things and he doesn't understand. Things like, this will be over soon, or... you need to stop that or you're done eating. Sure, he sees those cues around him but I honestly don't think they've been communicated to him effectively if he obviously doesn't get it. :[

Oh, and I had to snort at rainbowmummy's comment LOL!

Hammie said...

My favourite is still your FB icon photo, but this is pretty lovely too.

I get ya on the creativity. But human beings are evolved to mind each other, that is why we survive as a diverse and complex species- when really with no claws or teeth or stingers or poisons, or really fast legs or flippers, we should have disappeared from the earth years ago.

I just wonder how long it will take for the powers that be to get over their own prejudices and start seeing the nose in front of their faces. The Reality of Potential.

xx

3laine said...

That's just a wonderful photo. I can see that C just has so much love to offer. I hope he finds a home which is just right for him. Wishing you and C the best of luck in the future.

Niksmom said...

No matter how many times I see this photo, it always makes me teary. Much like when Nik first signed "Mama" the other night. Gives me a lump in my throat. xo

Akelamalu said...

What a wonderful photograph! Your heart must have been singing when it was taken. :)

JoyMama said...

Ohhhh, LOOK at that magnificent smile! Or, I should say those magnificent smiles. Mrs. C is right, you do look a whole lot alike.

Maddy said...

I read this early in the month / week? I think it is extremely unfortunate that Yoko has been roped in along with everyone else.

Thank you for the candid shot.
Best wishes

flyinfox-satx said...

My step son IQ has these moments as well. He does not like to be photographed...go figure.

Thanks for the post...

laughingwolf said...

what a sweet pic, cas... thank you :)

dawn said...

Beautiful picture superwoman, I know how much that hug means!!!Beautiful weather has finally arrived in nyc and I will be out this weekend having all our little league teams take there team and individual pictures. This is my big fundraiser for the league so wish me luck. (700 kids sometimes is not so much fun) Have a great weekend!!!!!

MarmiteToasty said...

Beautiful..... as are you both.... your faces tell it all...

x

STARGATE_3000 said...

I LOVE YOUR PICTURE . I HAVE READ RANDOM THINGS IN YOUR BLOG AND I WONDER IF YOU HAVE EVER TRIED THE CFGF DIET OR THE DAN PROTOCOL FOR YOUR SON ?. i DO UNDERSTAND IF YOU CHOSE NOT TO DO IT IS OK , bUT i WAS JUST WONDERING . yOU HAVE A LOVELY SON AND YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PARENT . GOD BLESS YOU MY FRIEND

Amanda said...

oh that photo is brilliant and beautiful :0)

teeni said...

What glorious smiles! They certainly are very catchy! I'm so glad you shared with us. :) I'm still beaming. I've always wondered why experts on a certain condition think they are also experts on individual humans. It really doesn't belittle them if they could listen to the family members who have first-hand experience. I can see how frustrating that must be.

Lane said...

Such a beautiful photo. I'm so glad it was caught on camera for you (and us - thank you - to share)

Merelyme said...

This is so great to see...love this image of you two.

Ron said...

Hello Dear Casdok!!

I'm always so happy to see that you've posted!

FAAAAAAABULOUS photo's!!!

I can just FEEL the LOVE between the two of you - it's so touching.

And that last photo is so perfect for the caption.

I love the quote you also shared from Amanda Baggs.

AMEN!!!

Know that I am always sharing "good energy" and "love" with you and C!

Have a wonderful weekend!
X

lime said...

oh what a beautiful and joyous photo. i hope you have that framed.

Joy said...

I love the photos. Good luck with the move.

citizen of the world said...

I love that first photo!

Hope you are able to get Csettled in the place that's right for him.

starrlife said...

Thanks for sharing that picture Casdok. And that beautiful and so true saying- I dig that no holes thing for sure!

DJ Kirkby said...

You know I love that photo! Like the 2nd one as well. Going to read the article now. xo

shiftydi said...

Thankyou for sharing a truly beautiful moment with us all.

Mistress B said...

That is awesome.

frogpondsrock said...

Love the photo. Absolutely LOVE it. So yoko wants a cure does she? Gah I have never ever liked that woamn..

Traceytreasure said...

You are both, truly an inspiration. That picture of you two gave me goosebumps. You should enlarge it and frame it. One for you and one for him! That is a beautiful saying by Amanda Baggs.
Sending you both big hugs and love,
T

Honeysuckle said...

That's a wonderful picture of the two of you. C looks so happy.

Paulene Angela said...

Is there some connection between Yoko Ono and autism? out of interest I am just wondered if I am missing something here ...

Casdok said...

As far as i know Autism Speaks approached her. But if anyone knows any differently i would love to hear

Mary (MPJ) said...

Love that picture! Thanks so much for sharing it!

StatMama said...

I absolutely love this picture. So much joy in it. Thank you for sharing this, you made my day :)

Kahless said...

I love C's smile.

Tanya @ Teenautism said...

I love C's radiant smile! And yes, C's sky is perfect just as it is. xoxo

Dave Coulter said...

What a nice picture...thanks for posting it! It's nice to see those good times.

Is that a Yankees hat I see C wearing? For shame! lol.... He needs a White Sox cap! ;)

Halo said...

I love this photo of you and C!

It is somthing to cherish forever :)

CanCan (MomMostTraveled) said...

The photo really is gorgeous. I feel touched looking at it.

Kit Courteney said...

Now, that pic should be plastered on every bus, bus stop, station, magazine...etc...

As a nation (and world) pictures like that should be out there as much as every 'normal' parent/child picture.

In my opinion.

Education is the most amazing thing.

You have that gift.

You and C have that gift.

That picture rocks!!!!

Affairs of the Heart said...

What a heart warming picture!

motherx said...

Jen I love this pic!! It really says it all without any words. He looks very happy, u both do :) I really hope the new home works out ok this time. xxx

E said...

Beautiful
I think C needs a copy of this photo so he can re-visit the love whenever he wants and remember the sweetness of that touch.
Lovely Casdok...

Jade said...

My dear dear friend, this post brought a tear to my eye. Well the picture did. Because I know just how rare those moments can be. And I know the amazing feeling you had in your heart when it happened.

I am one of those "professionals" but you know what, I always tell the parents of those that I work with "you know you're child better than anyone". And I truly believe that, no matter what the issue.

You are a kind, honest, loving mom and friend. Don't ever let anyone make you think otherwise!!!

Hope to email you soon!

Cindi said...

I have never seen a more beautiful picture. Thank you. It's moments like that that make life the best for us as parents of Autistic children. Thank you for sharing...

Crystal Jigsaw said...

You got that right about the professionals thinking they know more than parents. It's something that really infuriates me. Know-alls and sensible advisors are two different things. Unfortunately, this there are too many know-alls.

Love to you and C,
CJ xx

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

A truly wonderful and uplifting picture of you both. It fair raised my spirits just looking at it.

buffalodick said...

I enjoy the parts where you get a little back, from the volumes you have given... As always, best wishes for you and your son...

Dr. Deb said...

The last sentence is so powerful to me. Wow.

Julie L. said...

I love both the facebook photo and the one you just posted and I know you'll cherish both always. They definitely portray a loving, trusting relationship. : )

You've helped me to realize that I should try to be in more pictures with my own two sons. I'm usually the one behind the camera!

MMC said...

Wonderful picture!
Get it blown up and keep it on display in your house forever. Well, I am sure you will anyway :D

But I was confused about one thing, you said "The move from an up to date forward thinking school to a group home who is still in the last century has been quite an eye opener..." so does that mean you see the move as a step backwards? Or does a step backwards mean going forward?

Sorry, I am easily confusable at times...

Casdok said...

The way C is being treated is a step backwards as the attitude of the home is not the same standard as we have been used to. I have found another home and am hoping to move C in the next month or so. Hopefully this time it will be a step forward.

Dad Stuff said...

That is a wonderful picture. Heartwarming.

Jocelyn said...

As always, photos of C are brilliant. And your words about the stress of dealing with professionals intervening in the relationship between you and your child...well, I suddenly thought of my kids in elementary school and how hard it is to sit in a parent/teacher conference. I'd never thought of that before you articulated what every parent experiences, albeit in vastly different ways.

Holly Nappi Collins said...

It is a beautiful picture--your son looks a lot like you!!

I hope C's new home works out for him and I'm glad that you seemed to have figured it all out... half the battle!!

Warty Mammal said...

That's a sweet photo. He's a handsome fellow. I believe he takes after you in the eyes and nose?

Anne Brooke said...

Everyone else has already said it, but it's a truly wonderful picture.

Axxx

Flea said...

Wonderful photo. :) No holes indeed.

earthlingorgeous said...

Hi Cas,

Thanks for visiting my blog. I am so very proud of my daughters achievement in a span of 6 months and great improvements encourages me more to do anything I can no matter what.

My daughter is very cuddly and I imagine it must be really hard when C is not that cuddly and this one is such a big thing.

Thanks for sharing this moment with us.

Take care :)

A Modern Mother said...

That's a great photo and a great thought.

earthlingorgeous said...

Hi Cas,

I have a mothers day tag for you. Happy Mothers Day!

Earth

LceeL said...

From Amanda Baggs' mouth to God's ear. And that ... that is a lovely and very heartwarming photograph.

Seamus said...

What a wonderful moment and photo! :)

Shari @ A Psych Mommy said...

What a beautiful post! I love the quote from Amanda Baggs that you included.

Chun Wong said...

Fantastic picture - such love! You have to treasure moments like that!

You're right, you know him better than anyone and don't let others tell you otherwise.

Anonymous said...

You should do some checking on Amanda Baggs. She wasn't "autistic" when she was in college. Shetalked like anyone else, had a boyfriend, did lots of acid, and became convinced there was some kind of mind-control device buried on the grounds of her old elementary school.

starrlife said...

Happy Mother's Day Casdok!

Noddy said...

A brief but beautiful blessed moment. Both of you look ecstatic!

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Such an utterly powerful post. It is absolutely wonderful that you were able to capture it on film. Moments in life like this can be so fleeting...even with my own kids.

Thank you.

-Francesca

Siobhán said...

Hi there,
Landed here via the Black Box.
Great photo and very interesting story.

I know very little about autism, but happened across an article in New Scientist today as well coincidentally.

My son is almost 20 and I was a single parent until he was about 9.

You have my fullest admiration.

Jeannie said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. Glad you enjoyed the artwork. Love the Faces of Autism blog. Very, very cool!

Nea said...

Thinking of you both and hoping the move is going as smoothly as possible.

Mama Deb said...

I feel so happy for you that you have that wonderful picture of the two of you together! Never take a seemingly small moment for granted, eh? Hope you find a better place for C very soon.

Elizabeth Channel said...

I love it! Such a grand picture of your relationship...