Monday, 12 May 2008

Update

Thank you for all your comments and emails.
So what have I been up to apart from having time to clean my house and grow a few more grey hairs?
A couple of weeks ago after a particularly bad head banging session C ended up in hospital again. But I was able to use this to speed up the final funding decision for his new adult placement, as it clearly showed that someone with Cs level of self injurious behaviour needs a long and clear transition plan, and time had been running out.
We had been left hanging whilst the powers that be had xmas holidays, moved office and tried to pass the funding to other departments etc. It had even gone to their solicitors, only to find they couldn’t get out of it.

So we got the full funding for the package that C needs for his transition and adult place.
A big relief.

Last week we had a meeting with everyone involved with C plus staff from the new place. I was a bit of a nervous wreck the few days leading up to the meeting.
But I was very relieved and somewhat surprised that for once people were being honest and taking the severity of C behaviour so seriously (usually its swept under the carpet as they don’t want to be seen as not coping) .
So I came away with a moving date and a very detailed transition plan that I felt happy with even though still very apprehensive. And the new home has a place available for him.

I will be taking C for his first of many visits in a few weeks to his ‘adult’ home. I will let you know how it goes!

146 comments:

Cathy said...

Wow. Everything seems to be slotting into place. Shame that it took a hospital visit to make people take proper notice of C's care needs.

Keeping everything crossed that C likes his new home and that the transition won't be too traumatic for him.

Cx

Vi said...

Good to see you back Casdok! And congrats on the unding! Just a shame C had to end up in hospital for it to be pushed through!

Chris H said...

WOOOO HOOOO ! You are getting C's future home sorted, so pleased for you both. Oh... neat to see ya back too chick.

laughingwolf said...

good to hear from you again, cas... and grats on the progress

the pics are hilarious!

Stinking Billy said...

This change of fortune was overdue and nothing more than you deserve. Great going, girl!

Nancy said...

wonderful to see an update post.
((( hugs ))) to you girl!

I'm praying for a sooth as possible transition for C ... and you.

I love the photos you picked for todays post, they express your words perfectly.

buffalodickdy said...

Some good news after alot of hard work! I hope it all goes well for you and your son during this transistion...

Kittymama said...

Missed you so much, my friend!

I hope that things will fall into place for your beloved C. Rest assured, you and C are always in our prayers. The road you walk on with C is similar to the one I walk with my own child, and your faith and courage are my inspiration. Be blessed always!

Rosie said...

You have been missed...I am so pleased to see you back with what seems to be good news about C's placement...even his destructive behaviour happened at the best moment to have it taken seriously (if any time could be considered good, but you know what I mean...)

akakarma said...

And a Happy Mother's Day to you too! Great fighting there Mom! You go girl! Glad to hear from you- here and there!

bart said...

glad to read your update and that matters are finally moving in the right direction... sometimes it takes a lot of work and patience to get the elephants out of their trees but it's a worthwhile result you've got here :-))

keep well...

Phil Plasma said...

This sounds like great news, I really hope it works out, both for you and C.

Angela said...

I have missed you friend!! Hope the transition goes smoothly...poor mom, I am so glad you found people who recognize how hard the kids take transition. (Hope there are no more hospital visits in the meantime!) ((HUGS))

lime said...

good heavens i am so sorry it took something as serious as a hospitalization to light a fire under the bums of the people who needed to be helping in the transition. hoping it goes well. hugs

teeni said...

Wow! I'm so excited that you got the full funding! I know these things can be such a battle and take a lot our of you. It must feel such a relief at this point. I'll keep sending good thoughts and vibes your way. Please do keep us posted when you can. :)

Seen This Scene That said...

it's so great to read your latest post and to learn that matters are turning out well! happy belated mother's day!

Mrs. C said...

YAYYYYYYYY!!!!

SB said...

you're in my thoughts and prayers.

Ron said...

Yay! I was so happy to see that my google reader said that Casdok had posted!!!

SOOOO, SOOOO, SOOOO, happy to hear about the funding for C!!!

Yahooo, yepeeee!

Sorry to hear about C's head banging session. Yet, I'm glad to hear that it enabled you to move forward more quickly with his adult placement.

Thank you so much for keeping us posted, dear lady. It was so great hearing from you!

Sending you and C much love!

P.S. And I LOVE these photos!!!

Cheri said...

Good job! I know how hard it is to fight for what your child needs. It's always nice to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Sarah said...

I'm so glad things started moving along quicker for you!! I'm sorry that it all seemed to stem from such a bad episode with C!!

I'm pulling for you guys!! Keep us updated!!!

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

I'm so, so glad that things worked out so well with the transition plan. Yay!

craig andrew said...

C:)

Sandpiper said...

This all sounds really good! I hope it all works out nicely for you. Nice to get an update from you.

kristi said...

Thank God! I am glad to see you back and hope things go well for C in the new place.

bobbie said...

I'm so glad you're back, and that things seem to be moving for you. It's been a long, hard pull. (I love the photos.) We'll keep you in our prayers. Surely things will fall into place now. Keep us posted.

Patti said...

I'm also glad to read that things are going pretty well for you and for C's transition.

Hope you had a nice Mother's Day!

Melissa said...

Oh such good news! You and C have been heavy in my thoughts, so I appreciate the update. It sounds like the wheels are finally turning again and people are listening. Good luck with the visits!

Traceytreasure said...

I was thrilled to hear from you! You have been in my thoughts often these past weeks. Thank you for stopping by. I'm hoping that these weeks ahead go smoothly for you and C. Big smothering hugs from me to you, Casdok!

DJ Kirkby said...

Really really fabulous to have you back and to hear you have made progress in the direction you wanted!

Mrs. Darling said...

How exciting although Im sure you're feeling a little apprehensive turning your son over to others but what a brave and loving step you are making! So glad for both of you!

Billy said...

Sounds like things are progressing nicely (minus the head-banging). Good luck. I'll keep some good thoughts!

Lane said...

So pleased to read your update and hear the good news.

All the very best to you and C.

Beth said...

Such good news for both you and C.
Best of luck with the visits.

Odat said...

It's good to see you back......I'm happy you're making progress with "C".....I hope it works out...I'll be praying for both of you!
Peace

dawn224 said...

very very good. to be heard and have them take care of C. So good.

Motherhood for Dummies said...

So good to see you back and Im glad to hear you are happy and that you are getting some kind of help with C. Let us know how it goes and how he does with everything!

ChainingMagic said...

Glad to see your posts again! I'm praying for as easy a transition as possible for you and C. Head banging is a very serious behavior people around here don't take very seriously, either. They either refuse to believe the boys do it or they accuse me of not trying hard enough to help them cope. Sigh...always something. I'm glad transition is a ways off for them, though. However, I'd still be a wreck as well. Bright blessings for you and C on this new turn in the road on your journeys in this life.

Dave Coulter said...

So glad to hear some positive news...hoping for more! :)

Niksmom said...

You know that you will (do) have lots of people holding you and C in our hearts and thoughts, praying that the transition goes well and that C gets exactly what he needs and you feel comfortable with it, too. You didn't mention...is the home closer to you than his school was? I hope so!

Sending you love, my friend. xo

KAREN said...

That's great news. Still worrying, obviously, but I hope everything goes well :o)

Maggie May said...

Glad to see you back & really glad that you will be getting the help you really deserve. Don't know how you cope. I know you have no choice.

Kahless said...

Thank-you for the update. I am sorry it took for your son to get hurt bad before they listened to you.

Take care and I will be thinking of you both.
xx.

TOM FOOLERY said...

Such great new to hear, some light in the tunnel. Take care now TFX

motherx said...

I really hope it all works out for you and that C is happy with the choice. Its such a big deal and I can understand how nervous you both must be. XX

whimsical brainpan said...

Welcome back!

Congrats on getting the needed funding. It's nice when the system actually works.

I hope the new home works out well for C and wish you the best of luck during the transition.

WherestheBox said...

Oh I am so glad to hear that things are moving forward and hope that C will really like the new place. Happy, Happy Mother's Day to You!

Marla said...

I am so sorry C had to be in the hospital again but so glad people are taking everything more seriously. I have been thinking a lot about you both and keeping you in my prayers. Maizie says hello! You are such an inspiring mother.

Lisa *leelee* said...

welcome back casdok and c!I absolutely cannot believe that it takes someone a millionth time to slam their head into tiles before someone sees the importance of the situation.Unbelievable story!I hope c's transition into his home goes smoothly for you both.Glad to hear from you:)

Lisa *leelee* said...

welcome back casdok and c!I absolutely cannot believe that it takes someone a millionth time to slam their head into tiles before someone sees the importance of the situation.Unbelievable story!I hope c's transition into his home goes smoothly for you both.Glad to hear from you:)

Joeymom said...

Wow, I hope the transition goes well! **HUGS**

But Why? said...

Phew!

Well done!

Nice to see you back.

Suburbia said...

It's great to have you back. Such good news about the funding too. I can't (well yes I can!)believe how authorities can just idle time away. Good luck with the first visit.
Suburbia :)

Get Off My Lawn! said...

Lots going on over there. Congratulations seem to be in order. Hope the transition goes smoothly. Looking forward to the follow up report.
Stay well

graceunderautism said...

I happily surprised when I saw your blog go bold in my RSS feed. I thought I was seeing things.

Thanks for the updates. I hope the transition goes as smoothly as possible.

vivavavoom said...

everything is falling into place. They don't have C get to his new home in a parachute as your pic suggests do they? hahaha. anyways, we are now jumping through the hoops to get my son at the best place and program for his language processing disorder next year. it is going okay, but still frustating when all i can do is wait for people to file paperwork, agree on the obvious and sign all the necessary places.

my best to you and C. he is SO lucky to have such a strong advocate as you!!

Delilah said...

That's great news! Wishing you and C a smooth transition. Take care.

Cyndi said...

That's great news...happy belated Mother's Day!

CrackerLilo said...

I'm glad you were able to take care of business for C. The cry for help was an awful one, but I'm glad for you both it was heard this time. It's good for you, too. Thank you for updating.

Margarete said...

Glad you visited my blog. I have been thinking about you and praying for you almost every day!

Flea said...

Oh hoorah and congratulations! Good for C, that he'll be getting the care he needs.

I'm so sorry that he had to get hurt to get care, but I know that you are diligent and thorough, doing everything that you can for your son.

Happy Mother's Day, Casdok (I know yours happened awhile back. Still.)

E said...

Thanks for catching us all up. I know I have popped around intermittently hoping for a glimpse of you.
The alchemists said that when your material goes black the gold is about to come through.
Those ancient ancestors seemed inherently to understand the principle of these terrible lows just preeedding the light.
You are coming back into the wonderous lightness of your spring. Welcome back to you both....

MMC said...

Congratulations to you both!
Truly a wonderful Mother's Day gift, no?

Oh wait, your Mother's Day isn't this month, is it? Oh well then, just think of it this way ... you will get two Mother's Days this year. Personally, I think this is a great gift for one of them. Will be praying it continues to work out.

Angela said...

So happy to hear from you again. I saw your comment and smiled.
It is too bad that C had to end up in the hospital but at least something is being done now.
I do hope you had a good mothers day.

Please come and post every now and then It is good to know how life is going for you guys.

You are in my thoughts

Noortje said...

Good for you Cazdok, what good news. Sorry about C having to go into the hospital, though, but in the end it helped him, didn't it?

None of us know what you must go through to get the things done that you do, we only have an inclination. Still, I have a lot of admiration for you and I wish you a lot of strength and patience.

Nancie said...

So good to have you back with us, Casdok, and thanks for the update. Thanks for visiting me.

You and C are in my thoughts and prayers. Must have been a very difficult time over the last few weeks for you and C. Glad you are coping and things turned out well for C. You are such a caring and wonderful mother and C is blessed to have you with him. Take care. I will keep you and C in my prayers.

family affairs said...

good to have you back on board - missed you...that's good news then - who wants time to clean their house anyway....x

Honeysuckle said...

Excellent news! But isn't it sad that young people without someone able to fight their corner will end up without any help?
I hope C loves his new placement.

Norah said...

Good luck. For C and you I hope his new home is everything a home should be.

Sass E-mum said...

It's great to hear what's been going on with you both. I think of you every time I go through Victoria station - since you posted a video of C there once.

I hope the plan... goes to plan.

Cait O'Connor said...

So pleased everything seems to be going the right way at last. Very best wishes to C for his new placement.

ChrisH said...

Good to hear your news. Hope the transition plan goes well and C feels comfortable in his new home.

She's like the wind said...

What a relief for you, like everyone else has said it's just a shame he had to go to hospital first. Nice to see you back. xx

CAMILLA said...

The very best of luck Casdok, still a worrying time for you, I do hope the new home goes well for 'C'.

Camilla.xx

A Bishops Wife said...

I am so happy to see you posting again. Thanks for the update. I am glad for both that C is going to a place you like. I willbe looking forward to seeing how things go.

Milla said...

well done Casdok, such a relief for you both - and great elephant.

Kelley said...

Oh babe that is wonderful! But I am so angry that it takes a hospital visit or actual ABANDONMENT for anyone to do anything. Here in Oz the only hope for supported accommodation is to hand them over to the state, which mean abandoning them at a hospital or respite centre.

The new government say they are going to do something about it, but I won't hold my breath. Which reminds me, I should have Boo on the list already. It is a TWENTY YEAR WAIT!!!!

Enough of my rant. Big hugs to you babe, you know I think you are amazing.

TEOM said...

Oh, you must have a veritable cavalcade of emotions around this big change. Take good care.

WesterWitch/Headmistress said...

Oh Casdok how truly lovely to hear from you. You news is so heartening and although there is still along way to go before C has made the transition at least the funding and the place are there at last.

Ta for letting us know on PC and thenk you for letting us know you have blogged - much appreciated . . .

Elizabethd said...

What a relief that must be for you. Now begins another time of transition.

LceeL said...

I have missed you. So good to see you online again. I have seen your name in comments - it seems we go to several of the same places. I've been hoping you would come back sooner, rather than later. And I am so glad to see that there is finally some GOOD news around C and his adult home. Welcome back. Welcome home.

Frances said...

It was good to read this post, and to learn your encouraging news.

Best wishes to you and C.

Mel said...

What a stressful time for you and for C.
I'm relieved for you that it's finally going to happen....and for C.

*sending prayers and positive thoughts for the transition--for both of you*

lampworkbeader said...

Excellent news. My very best wishes that the transition plan is successful and C finds his new home a place of peace and safety

athenivanidx said...

hey there Cas nice to "C" you again.....

sorry bad joke couldn't resist.....

perhaps C realises that a big change is about to come and he's frustrated, not sure how to respond, etcetera.

He must understand what you say to him.......so ask him! Whats going on, why are you frustrated....etcetera. then offer him paper and drawing tools, or stuff to write with, or any other kind of alternative communication device.

He'll appreciate the attempts to interpret his feelings....and he might just decide that headbanging just isn't cool anymore. It never was to begin with.......to YOU. But to him, it may have been a very effective communication tool (for expressing frustration/anger/dark feelings) because it got your attention real quick!

I've done it a few times myself........I or Athena or Ivan.....at some point.

well take care

and belated happy mother's day.

The Integral

UN PEU LOUFOQUE said...

Glad to see you back here , good news re fuding hope the new palcemetn works well for you both. I was thinking of you today, someone I met has just got her holiday accomodation in France approved for special groups and has her first group of 4 autistic children and 2 adult helpers coming to stay under some sort o funding scheme. It made me wonder how you were getting on.

Mima said...

I am so pleased to hear that things are finally sorted for C, it must be such a relief to know that everything is going to be ok. My package is up for review again at the moment as all the agencies have upped their prices, and there is no reason why it wouldn't go through, but there is always that doubt in the back of my mind. I know what a reassurance it is to finally hear that it is going to be ok on the big scale. So sorry to hear that it took C going to hospital to get there.

How long is the transition period? I'm sure that in some ways this is also bitter sweet, with C moving onto his adult life away from you, but you are so lucky to have such a wonderful son.

Tattie Weasle said...

So pleased to hear about the funding and I hope that the trips to C's new home go well. Take greatest care and as my old Grandad used to say: "Mind how you go!"

Grit said...

good news and good wishes; keep us all posted!

Elissa - Managing Autism said...

Lovely to hear some news, even though sadly C has ended up in hospital again.
Love and hugs to you both. xx

The Muse said...

I'm glad they're finally coming through for you! Good luck with the transition.

Keep your chin up!

Maddie Moon said...

I'm glad it was such a positive meeting. Best wishes and good luck to you and C for the transition.

Bettina said...

I'm sorry that C was in hospital, but at the same time so pleased for you that it finally forced everything to be sorted out.

I've missed you.

hugs

citizen of the world said...

I really hope that goes well for your son and it turns out to be the right place for him. Good luck - keeping you in my thoughts!

Bonnie said...

Glad you're back, we missed you!

Punkys Dilemma said...

Welcome back Cas. Its good to see you again. I'm so glad things seem to be coming together to your advantage! I'll keep my fingers, toes, eyes and anything else crossed! :)

PunkyD
http://punkyd-takefive.blogspot.com/

monsoon-dreams said...

glad to see ur blog updated,cas.sorry that C had to be hospitalised,but everything works for good.hope and pray that C loves his new place.missed you cas.

Raven said...

I'll keep you and C in my prayers. I'm glad that things are working out, though it must be one of those things where even a good result is painful. Hope C is recovering from his hospital stay - and you too.

On another note - I love the pictures you have put with this post. They are brilliant.

Raven said...

One other thought - this may sound whacky to you, but have you ever checked out reiki for C? It might be something to explore - even getting him attuned to the energy. It can't hurt and it might even help him.

Casdok said...

To help my stress i had Reiki years ago, it helped me so much i did the Reiki 1 and 2 just so i could do it on C!
So no not whacky at all!

david mcmahon said...

You're both in my thoughts. Please do keep us updated.

leslie said...

Oh, it's so good to see you back! And happy to hear that things are falling into place. (Love your photos! lol) I've checked over here occasionally to see if you were back yet, but you weren't, so I'm glad you came over to my site. Really great to have you back! Looking forward to more of your news.

Debstar said...

Ditto what everyone else said. So glad you're back and life is looking up.

CC said...

I am so glad things are coming into place as needed. Hugs through these huge life changes!

Stinking Billy said...

Did anyone ever have so many well-wishers? But you're worth it! x

Jen said...

I'm so glad to hear about the funding, and that the new people are taking his behaviour seriously! Here's hoping that's a sign of great new attitudes to deal with in the future.

Have fun with your visits- good luck!

Bobbi said...

I'm glad things are working out. I really miss reading your blog. I hope you post more. Good luck with whatever the future brings.

dawn said...

I'm glad to here the update it must take alot off your mind. Anyway superwoman Have a great week

Raven said...

Glad you are familiar with reiki. Have you ever considered attuning C to reiki, especially if he responds to receiving it. Couldn't hurt.

CrazyCath said...

Hi Casdok - I realised from David that you had posted this week. I just hadn't got around to checking yet...!

You must be so relieved and I am really pleased for you AND for C. It is going to be a difficult and anxious time for both of you - change always is at the BEST of times for anyone - but I know you will manage it. Not lease because the end most definitely this time, justifies the means and is worth it.

I wish you both all the very best and look forward to seeing how it goes.
(hugs)

Dad Stuff said...

Welcome back.
What a great ending and a great beginning for C.
I know it's not easy, but at least a few of the bumps have been smoothed.
Best of luck.

MamaGeek said...

Here's for a fast, successful transition! Welcome back!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

I knew you could do it. With your incredible approach you give that boy a loving and caring environment because of the incredible love you have for him.

Congratulations,
CJ xx

Slip said...

You amaze me the way you stay with it! Good for you and for C.

LceeL said...

Monday, and today is Friday. Does that mean you're still going to post infrequently? Because I HAVE seen you in comments on other blogs out there, so I know you're still 'there' ... just need to know that you're okay, that's all.

Jennie said...

Hi Casdok, I am so glad you got the funding for C and I will be thinking of you both when you go to visit the adult home.

Dianne said...

I'm so glad to see you around. And I feel such a rush of relief that 'C' got a place.

Sorry he had to hurt himself for people to pay attention.

Thanks for your visits. I always look forward to seeing your lovely face.

I missed you :)

little wanderer said...

phew you done good girl, hard work and a really ba shame that C ended up with hospital visit.
great to see you back around, now when you have a mo call over you should remember me

SnoopMurph said...

I continue to keep you and C in my thoughts and I was happy to see you post a comment and so I hopped over to see if you had updated. I hope this place for C will work out well for both of you. My heart goes out to you as I imagine figuring out C's plan for the future conjures up so many emotions and apprehensions. I look forward to hearing how the visits go.

I love that elephant hanging upside down-the photos compliment this post.

Anne Brooke said...

That's very good news indeed - well done to you both.

Hugs galore

A
xxx

Stinking Billy said...

I'm still keeping watch and waiting, stay strong,

A Bishops Wife said...

I m continuing, as others have stated here already, to keep you and Cin my thoughts and prayers.
You and Niksmamo make a tremendous imoact.

Rhonda said...

Thinking of you.
Wishing you and C the best!

CAMILLA said...

So pleased the visit went well Casdok for 'C', soo pleased for you both, absolutely brilliant.!

Camilla.xx

Ellee Seymour said...

Thanks for the update Casdok. I'm glad that your concerns are now being dealt with properly. Good luck with the "adult" home.

Pavel said...

I'm glad he'll get the funding he needs. You and he will be in my prayers.

Ian Lidster said...

God go with you.

storkdok said...

Glad everything seems to be coming together! Good luck with the transition!

Preposterous Ponderings said...

The best to you both.

Keeping you in my thoughts.

Julie said...

All the best to you both as things move ahead, and hope you manage to get a break yourself at some point.

Quin Browne said...

glad you are back, glad c is having his future moving forward.

my son with asperger's is planning a return to university, which thrills me.

i deal with my recent diagnosis (what, i thought he had it and it came from nowhere, when we are so alike it's scary?) slowly.

i realise my father had it, too... and, to know now, there are places and people and organisations... i'm not sure if i am thrilled or a bit angry of the struggle i went through, sandwiched between two with it, having it... never understanding.

still puzzled.

FXSmom said...

I'm obviously a little late on the news bandwagon (I've been sicker than heck). But this is all fantastic news. What an exciting chapter in your guys' life!!! I can't wait to hear updates. I wish you both all good things.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Wow what a development. But it often takes drastic action for people to take notice. Hope it works out well for you. Is this a full time placement? How do you fel about this?

mutleythedog said...

Hope you will post again soon. As you know my 18 year old has aspergers syndrome and has passed no exams etc. I am reduced to trying to get him a job - anywhere at all.

Angie said...

Thinking of you and C and hoping all goes well.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

I hope you will be blogging about this new stage in both your lives. You must have very mixed emotions and sometimes life takes over and makes the difficult decisions for us, i.e. sometimes you are forced to take the only choice. I wish you both well. x I'm so curious to see how things pan ot for you both now - ope you keep blogging.

Stinking Billy said...

Just calling by to say hello, and good health!

Eileen said...

This is good news. I am sorry to hear that C ended up in the hospital, how stressful for you both. However, I am so glad it made the Transition Plan speed up and the funding. I am happy for you both. I hope the visits go well and that C begins to feel comfortable in his new home. I also pray you feel a sense of peace in your heart about the move.

So glad to see you back in the blogging world.

XOXOXO

Maddy said...

Aha! Big relief indeed. Hope the day trip transitions go smoothly.
Cheers

Debs said...

I'm glad to see that C has a place in a new home and everything seems to be coming together at last.

Dx

Seamus said...

I'm so pleased to hear that things are working out! It is truly unfortunate that it took a hospital stay to speed things along.

Jade said...

Wow, I'm so glad the funding went through for C. That must be a huge relief. I can only imagine the anxiety both of you must have regarding this situation, but hopefully with time and effort from everyone you both will find some comfort in it. And this could very well be the place that could give C the skills he needs to live a more independent life!

My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Flea said...

Just checking back in to say hi! :)

nitebyrd said...

Thanks for the update, casdok. Although the transition will be hard for both you and C, knowing that there are caring, capable people for him, may make it a wee bit easier.

I'm also happy to hear that after all the stress and time, you prevailed with the funding.

LceeL said...

Are you okay? Is everything okay? Worried.

motherx said...

I hope it all works out for him.The funding must be a relieve for you. Best of Luck to both of you. xx