Sunday, 2 March 2008

Happy Mothers day!

Some days you may feel like this


But when working well - we do a great job!!

It wasn’t that long ago that autism was thought to be caused by refrigerator parents. It was actually the very first thing I read about autism when C was diagnosed.
And for about the first 10 years of Cs life my parenting skills were often called into question mainly by the public. ‘If he were my child I would give him a good spanking’ or ‘Children like that shouldn’t be taken out’ etc
Parenting an autistic child as any child is not easy and you learn skills you never thought you would, some go way beyond just being a mum.
And now C is older my parenting skills are not condemned anymore, I now get the opposite ‘oh you are so wonderful I couldn’t do that’ - ‘You have so much patience’ Or ‘I don’t know how you do it’ etc But like any mum who loves their role I don’t know how I wouldn’t do it.


Myspace Comments - Mothers Day Comments for Myspace

62 comments:

Chris H said...

Hee hee, here I am reading your blog and I get a comment from you! We are CONNECTED girl! Mother's Day.. isn't till May here! HAPPY MOTHERS DAY Mate.

Kelley said...

Sounds like chris is an Aussie too!

Happy Mothers Day my lovely.

Yeah, I am moving from the 'that child needs a good smack', 'give him to me for a day and I will straighten him out' and my favourite 'you sure he is not just deaf?' to the pity looks and statements.

I think every mother could 'do it' if it was their child. Love is love. No matter what.

the mother of this lot said...

Happy Mothers Day to a fantastic Mum!

Have a great day!

Lane said...

Happy Mothers day to you too:-)

Joker The Lurcher said...

happy mothers day! i know the family of a 35 year old autistic man - the mother was told firmly that it was all 'her fault'. she has never got over this. i am so grateful to live in an era where we know it is different wiring rather than parenting that causes autism. i could not have coped with what she went through.

MarmiteToasty said...

HAPPY MUVVERS DAY TO YOU DEAR BLOB FRIEND.....

x

Anne Brooke said...

Hear hear. And I hope your Mothers Day is very special indeed.

Hugs to you both

A
xxx

Seamus said...

Happy Mother's Day!!!!

buffalodickdy said...

Happy Mothers' Day! USA has ours in May...

Jen said...

I remember that one of my first interactions on a mailing list after my kids were diagnosed was with a woman whose 2 boys were diagnosed near the end of the 60s. The "refrigerator mother" theory was so prevalent that she wasn't even allowed to go to doctor's appointments with them...she had to wait in the car while a nurse took them back and forth to see the doctor, and also had to receive "therapy" herself in order to get the boys "treated". Thank heavens we're further along than that now!

And the general public can be annoying, but so can the "supermom" syndrome. We're just all doing the best we can :-)

Happy Mother's Day to you!

Debs said...

Happy Mother's Day to you too. You are such a wonderful mother and it's dreadful to think how ignorant some people are/were.

Loved the pic of the fridges.

titration said...

I read this and for a second I thought, did I miss my mom's mothers day? Then I realized you have a different mothers day!

Yes, happy mothers day to you.

Sweet Irene said...

Yes, I have been confused about that too, when Mother's Day is. It seems to be on another day in England than it is here in the Netherlands, but is is so kind of you to think of all us us other Moms anyway.

Hey, Happy Mother's Day to you!

Niksmom said...

When you're a great mom like you are, every day can be HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY. :-))

Mima said...

Happy Mother's Day, I hope that you have a wonderful one. I can't imagine what it must have been like to deal with comments like that. When I am well enough to go out, I know how difficult I find it to deal with the stares, let alone people feeling as if they have a right to comment on your parenting skills when they know nothing about the situation.

I hope though that it is ok for someone who has only been been reading your blog for a relatively short period of time to say that I think you are a great Mum, and I love the way that you write about the difficulties as well as the good times.

kristina said...

Happiest of days to you!

craig andrew said...

Happy Mom's Day! C:)

Maggie May said...

Happy Mother's day! There's still some time left to enjoy it!

~Miss Nelson said...

Happy Mother's Day to you!! It doesn't matter what day it is on the calendar, you should be saluted everyday for being a great mom!

WesterWitch/Headmistress said...

Happy Mother's Day to you . . . whatever the problems whatever the circumstances - we are all mothers and how wouldn't I do it . . .I couldn't not and wouldn't change any of it - heartache and all.

Jim said...

Being a parent of a disabled child is not the same as being a parent of an able child.

Happy Mother's Day. Here in USA, we celebrate Mother's day in May.

Angela said...

Happy Mother's Day to you!!

Teachin' this mommy new tricks! said...

I kind of know how you feel. My nephew had autism badly. It was very hard on my sister. He couldn't even talk or potty trained.
It is a hard road and it doesn't help when people stick their nose in where it doesnt belong and give advice when they don't even know a situation. Im sure you are a wonderful mom! Happy mothers day!

Patty said...

Happy Mothers Day ! You know life in general is much the same as you describe your parenting skills coming under question. We homeschooled our children and heard all the negetives you can imagine from strangers, family, and friends. Only now, after my children are all grown and married, people say things like, "wow what a fantastic job you did raising your family" although nice to hear, the nice comments came at a time when they were not really needed. Its when you are going through uncharted territory, thats when you need the appreciation and not the comments that drag you down. I suspect its a good lesson for me to remember when I am about to judge someone for any thing in life.

lime said...

happy mother's day, casdok. and thanks for being the type who advocates not only for your own child but for the well being of others as well.

Rhonda said...

Happy Mother's Day!
I have learned so much about being a Mum from you.

Thanks for that.

teeni said...

It's not mother's day here until May but I am wishing you a wonderful one for now and I'll wish you another one then. Fair enough?

Anne said...

Happy Mother's Day!

I have shared this before but not here, so I'll have a go at it again.

When my son was dx'd in the 80's, a doctor had the NERVE to say to me "Well, what did you expect? You have MS, you came from alcoholics, your siblings are drug addicts, and now you have one more thing to add to your lineage."

I gave him a piece of my mind, told him he should get out of the business of practicing medicine (he was head doc at a large university hospital)and find a job where he didn't have to deal with people.

In the 1980's when autism was rarely confirmed (for some unGodly reasons, I'm sure), not too many docs wanted to "treat" - so I had to get educated quickly. Not only was I my son's teacher, but firstly I was his Mom.

Moms deal with it. Fathers take their cues from Moms. Just IMHO though. I'm sure there are some great Dads out there who are great with their autistic children. I just haven't met any who don't have their child's mother right next to them.

Celebrate today! Hell, celebrate everyday! LOL
Anne

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Happy Mother's Day!

Pixie said...

Happy Mother's Day to you too.
pxx

Cheri said...

Happy Mother's Day!

I had to laugh, because it just hadn't occured to me! I remember the stares and the muffled comments about my lack of mothering ability when Zach was young. And now that he's grown people tell me I was some saintly mother and did an awesome job.

I was neither a bad mom nor a good mom. I was just Zach's mom and did what I thought was best at the time. I still am, and still do.

It puts a big smile on my face to think about it though! Thanks!

Eileen said...

I hope you have a very Happy Mother's Day! Sitting here in cold, snowy New York, I can feel the deep, from the center of your being, love you have for your son.
How blessed we are to have your warm and generous, consistent presence in the blogging world. You are a wonderful person and mother.

Enjoy your day.
XOXO

motherx said...

Happy Mothers Day. I havent been online for 2 days! must be ill !! Hope you have a peaceful day.

Flea said...

Happy Mother's Day to you!

bullet said...

Happy Mother's Day :). I have had a lovely day, we went on a steam train ride and as that's not a very popular Mother's Day trip we got a lovely old carriage all to ourselves.

vivavavoom said...

where is it mothers day in March? how lovely! Happy Mothers day!!

misha_k said...

Happy Mother's Day to you too!

Elissa said...

We wouldn't have it any other way!!
Happy mothers day to you!
xx

Maddy said...

A very happy Mommy's Day to you [we have to wait until the second Sunday in May]
Cheers

dawn224 said...

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Dad Stuff said...

Happy Mother's Day to you. Go ahead and celebrate another in May.

Mrs. C said...

OK I can just celebrate two Mothers' Days, then. Going to have to buy myself a present.

I am leaving the next comment with my email address. Don't publish it! Ready? Here it is:

Marla said...

I wish I had a dollar for every time someone told me a good spanking for M was needed. Terrible. It is interesting that as M has become older I get less negative comments and more understanding, especially from family.

Angela said...

Happy mothers day!
We do our best for our children.

mumkeepingsane said...

I think my last rambling comment was lost. Happy Mother's Day.

david mcmahon said...

Belated happy Mothers' Day. You deserve every red rose in Great Britain.

Say G'day to C for me.

nitebyrd said...

I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day, Casdok.

Gretchen said...

Found your blog by clicking on random links and will be back. Any parent of a child deemed "out of the norm" knows the looks and hears the snide remarks.

Hope your mothers' day was wonderful. We'll celebrate ours in May. :)

Jennie said...

Happy belated Mothers day!!!

Rosie said...

happy mothers day...you can celebrate it with me in France in May...that way we both get two goes at it

Daryl E said...

I am C thinks you are the best mum ever!

David sent me

Billy said...

Happy Mother's Day to a wonderful mum! As we say here in slang, "ya done good!" -:)

chelle said...

Happy Mother's Day (better late than never!)

Sandi McBride said...

I guess what my G'mother always said was right...experience brings wisdom, association brings understanding, and instinct hones love...and yes, I may not know how you do it, but I certainly understand why you do it. You and C, lucky to have each other...
Sandi

CrazyCath said...

Hi Casdok
For the first time ever I am compelled to comment with out reading at least some of other people's comments.

You are so right and I am glad the world has (mostly) changed its viewpoint, if only for the mothers like you and your children.

I have not had to deal with autism in my children, but members of my family have, my friends have, and I have in parts of my work.

Hats off to you girl. I'm one of those that doesn't know if she could, but I also know if I had to, like most mothers, I would.
Respect.

CrazyCath said...

PS David sent me although I've seen you around. Glad he did.

katydidnot said...

every day should be mother's day.

Momma said...

Happy Mother's Day! I think you are a wonderful mommy to hang in there, learning to deal with your child's different abilities with love and patience.

I have one child with a serious mental illness and another with Asperger's Syndrome. I love them both, but the AS child is by far easier to love. I love the way his mind works. It makes me look at the world differently.

Glad that David mentioned your wonderful post so that I could "meet" you.

Peace - D

liv said...

right back at ya!

the spectrum is beautiful. my babe has taught me plenty.

Patti said...

Belated but sincere wishes for a Happy Mother's Day!

You always inspire me, Casdok

MMC said...

A bit belated but ... Happy Mother's Day, Casdock and to all the UK moms! I keep forgetting that date. ;-)

Emily, as some know me said...

Oh, the irony.

Happy Mum's Day!