Thursday, 28 February 2008

Bright ideas!

Some of humankind’s most creative brains have kept themselves busy creating answers for needs that didn’t exist and solutions that are more cumbersome than the problems they promised to tackle. Here are a few of the inventions that didnt make it.

1. Device for waking persons from sleep Patent no 256265, issued 1882
Sometimes, an alarm clock just isn’t quite enough for rousing heavy sleepers to face the day. So why not hang an array of weights on a frame above the snoozer’s head and, with the help of clockwork machinery, drop them upon their head until they wake? “When they fall it will strike a light blow, sufficient to awaken the sleeper, but not heavy enough to cause pain,” assures the

2. Cat duster

3. Water-filled brassiere Patent no US4734078, issued 1988
Wonder bra meets Waterworld. The American Inventor, James Moreau, explains it best (if it can be explained): “A brassiere which surrounds the breasts with water, so that a buoyant force provides improved and independent support for each breast. A transparent version is suggested for those who wish to make a fashion statement.”

4. Sleeve nose wiper 5. Sound-muffler for covering the mouthPatent no 4834212, issued 1989
It’s the invention that really makes you want to scream – but no one will hear you. Moira and Frank Figone a couple from Belmont, California, created this face-tube device to enable purchasers to “Yell or scream without disturbing others, allowing them to vent built-up anger and frustration.” In this fiendishly basic design, the interior of the flat-bottomed muffler tube is coated with sound-absorbing foam. But here’s the clever bit: a microphone can be included to pick up a some sound and activate a light display or meter, “giving the user immediate visual feedback as to the intensity of sound produced

6. Speaks for its self.

7. Alarm-equipped forkUS patent 5,421,089, issued 1995
Are you a manic masticator or a super fast food shoveller? The cutlery creators Nicole Dubus and Springfield Susan have come up with the just answer for you: a fork with a built in timer and alarm. The timer’s circuitry is connected to the handle of the fork and buzzes or lights up after a preset time, ensuring that eaters leave sufficient space between forkfuls for chewing 32 healthy times before swallowing. A must for business lunches and candlelit dinners.

8. Finger tooth brush 9. The trouser-cushionUK patent application No GB2267208, 1993
British inventor Michael Bayley decided to put an end to standing nightmares by creating portable seat that you wear on a waist-belt. OK, it’s a somewhat convoluted version of having a cushion with a loop that goes through your belt. “The seat cushion is pivotable between a stowed position and a seating position in which it hangs down so that you can sit on it,” says the patent application.

10. Butter stick 11. Over the years there have also been many inventions of the cause of autism, old and new.


If you liked these you can see the winners of Britain’s Landfill Prize for the most pointless, over complicated and wasteful consumer objects from the past 12 months.

42 comments:

Anne Brooke said...

The cat duster is the best!!! So useful!

:))

A
xxx

Pacha said...

Brilliant! Why didn't they make it? The sleeve tissue would be sooooo useful for my youngest two! (as well as the eating mask/protective!)...

Helen said...

Hey, the finger-toothbrush did make it! At least in Germany it's sold as "one time toothbrush"

http://www.oralb.com/de/products/onthego/brushaway.asp

It's also available for parents of small kids, so that they do not hurt the kid with a toothbrush-stick if the kid is not too pleased to have the first teeth cleaned...

buffalodickdy said...

You could freeze the water bra for those hot, sticky days!

laughingwolf said...

nothing there i'd want, but shows inventiveness! lol

Molly said...

Wait. I want a butter stick! Would be great for buttering pans and making grilled cheese :-P

Odat said...

Funny stuff...I like the cat too!
Peace

Angela said...

Water filled bra? They have 'wine racks' now...lol http://inventorspot.com/ladies_put_your_beer_boobs_on

Vi said...

How does no 6 speak for itself? Stopping you from getting food in your hair, but everywhere else? LOL!

KAREN said...

It's sad, but I rather like the butter-stick!

Refrigerator Mothers? Good God. I'd never heard that one before. Sadly, my friend's family still believe her daughter is 'badly behaved and needs a firm hand.'

teeni said...

Okay, most of these are very bad, but I kinda like the butter stick idea. :) And about the refrigerator mothers - it makes me wonder what theories we now live with that will be proven false in the near future.

Melissa said...

Oh how I laughed while reading this!! That cat looks quite miserable "get these things OFF of me!"

mommy~dearest said...

Oooh! I want a cat duster! :)

Maddy said...

Hmm we could do with a few of those around here!
Cheers

Teachin' this mommy new tricks! said...

love the butter stick! My mom had one for corn and I loved it!

Angela said...

How do I email you lady?? I have an article link you might be interested in..(no, no sales pitches or other garbage...a good link.)

kristina said...

What'll they think of next! How about something to iron clothes.......

Mrs. Darling said...

Well if this isnt the funniest thing Ive seen all day! LOL

WesterWitch/Headmistress said...

The thing that struck me and strikes me every day is the sheer inventiveness of your blog - sometimes just very funny, often thought provoking - always a good read.

Cheri said...

I want the sleeve nose wiper! When I go skiing, my nose runs non-stop - So I have to stop, take off my gloves, blow my nose, and put my gloves back on every two minutes. I actually once tried to come up with a way to attach kleenexes to my coat sleeve while waiting for the ski lift. It didn't work.

leslie said...

Where DO you find these things??? lol

Tanya Brown said...

Re: causes of autism, argh! Argh! Argh!

When my child turned out to have a significant speech delay, I was accused by a doctor of not talking to him enough and by a preschool worker of talking to him too much.

Whatever happens, it's always the fault of the mother.

Maggie May said...

I like the face shield for children eating pasta! They wouldn't wear it though, my grand daughters!

Jennie said...

I thought the cat would come in useful one day!
I took my daughter to see a specialist because I was sure she had mild Aspergers (I am still convinced) he told me to take my children out more and to make a star chart for her. He also told me that if she had a temper to pick her up and remove her from the room. (She gets frustrated about things usually misunderstanding social interaction and it comes out in anger)I was like 'well thanks, obviously I have never tried any of those! I only thought I'd waste everyones time, and it must just be down to my parental skills and the fact I am a single mother. But thank you anyway'. My friends and family were astounded (Also my daughters head teacher at the primary school)so any thoughts that it might be my parenting were quickly eased.
(ooh this turned into a very long post I apologise!)

titration said...

Woh I agree where do you find this stuff. Nice. Quality sharing...

craig andrew said...

Hi casdok!! C:)

Jim said...

Interesting inventions. :)

Elissa - Managing Autism said...

My kids could do with the sleeve nose wiper!!

Flea said...

3. Ooo! Transparent? A must have.

5. I'll bet the Mafia invested pretty heavily in those mouth mufflers, making their job just that much easier.

Sweet Irene said...

I always wanted a little car wash device for our dog that he could walk through and get scrubbed clean in.

Probably he wouldn't like it very much, but it could also be something like an old fashioned steam bath in which you sit with your head sticking out.

Preposterous Ponderings said...

I have got to get me one of those cat dusters! Ha ha

Eileen said...

Some people have really....ummm.....creative minds. I would just never think of most of those things. I guess that is why I was just not born to be an inventor. It is fun to see what other people come up with. You never know, one person, will get lucky with one stupid little thing and make millions.
XOXO

Kittymama said...

I could use the butter stick in my handbag, in case I get hungry in the middle of the day and I don't want to go down two flights of stairs to get sandwich. Ow, ow, ow, but where do I keep the bread? :-)

And isn't number 6 also a shower thingy for kids (prevents soapy water from running into their faces)?

Your blog always has something to spice up my day, but I so look forward to the days when you write about you and your son.

Have a little something for you at my blog (http://okasaneko.wordpress.com/2008/02/29/friendships-are-the-oscars-for-my-soul/); it's not much, but I hope you like it!

God bless!

Bonnie said...

I once saw a birthing machine that used centrifugal force...

Maddy said...

No update! What's going on dearie?

Casdok said...

Maddy - thank you for the reminder!!

Mrs. C said...

Um, I've been known to use the cat AS a duster. She has to earn her keep, you know.

Patti said...

I love the kitty cat duster!

And that alarm clock - yikes!!

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

These are great!

Kelley said...

I need me one of those water filled bras! Keep it in the freezer to avoid sweaty breasticles during summer and then to store my vodka or wine.....

Mima said...

My fav is the cat duster, I would love one, but know that my kitty would go absolutely bonkers if I tried attaching it as she hates having her feet touched (but loves being petted otherwise!)

Angela said...

My husband wouldn't mind having the sound muffler for me sometimes.