Monday, 5 November 2007

Ask me a question and have a rap.

Eeek ive been tagged by Get off my lawn, as he says we should know more about me!!

But being the unconventional person that I am I thought of a different idea.
I’m going away for a few days to play Aunty. So whilst I am away I thought you could think of a question for me, that you would like to know about C or I? So now you have a chance to get your own back as i have asked you so many questions!

Be good whilst I am away, or if you cant be good - be safe xx

After thought... if you came here for something to read. This was the very first post i did, i thought it follows on very well from what i was talking about yesterday.

If C could speak he would do this rap....

My mum misses me, my family dissess me.
Society dehumanises me.
Despises me. Criticize me.
They are fossilized. I do not apologise.
I am ridiculed, violated, bullied Ignored.
I am stared at, laughed at spat at.
What have I done to you?
I mind my own business.
I do not listen. I do not see or give you the third degree.
I am holistic, simplistic certainly not materialistic.
My disability is your prejudice, systemic injustice.
Your presumptions and assumptions.
Intolerance of my difference.
Your misperception I take objection.
I am not a disorder, im not a symptom.
Its not catching.
Im not a label or a vegetable or a crystal angel.
Im not a lost soul or out of control.
Im not from outer space, or a charity case.
I am suppressed not possessed.
Institution is not a solution.
I don’t have a condition, im not an exhibition.
Im not an artist or a musician, or on a hostile expedition.
Maybe I will become a politician.
Im not an Einstein or like Rain man.
Im not Pinocchio or Peter pan.
Im not ill, I don’t want your pills
Or your out of date text book skills.
Im not a zoo exhibition or a freak show,
Im a feeling human from head to toe.
I can get lost in the worlds beauty
So don’t make me fit in your reality.
Why should I conform To what you think is the norm
Like a Big Brother contestant
All we want is acceptance.
The world loves Happyfeet Nemo and Shrek
So should I paint my face green and be on Star Trek?
I create employment and opportunity,
I educate the world in diversity.
You cant bleed the devil out of me,
People like me have influenced history.
You need me.
So don’t cure me. Don’t pity me just let me be.

By Casdok/mum x


Anonymous said...

Excellent rap, Casdok. Enjoy playing Auntie. I have my niece here until Wednesday so I'm doing much the same.

Crystal xx

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

Do you have a man (apart from C) in your life now?

Fennie said...

Have a lovely time, Casdok!

Elissa said...

Have a lovely time playing Aunty!

Suffolkmum said...

Wow I LOVED that rap. Fantastic stuff Casdok. Now for my question - hmmm - did you always instincitvely know that something wasn't 'right' with C when he was a baby, or was he older when you got a diagnosis?

Amanda said...

love that rap!
Hope you had a good trip Casdok.
hmmm. a question. thinking...

Jen said...

Have a wonderful time being Aunty for a couple of days...I hope that it's a nice break for you!

One of the things that I always wonder about other parents is how you find a balance between your own needs and your child's, especially when you have a child with a lot of needs. I try to take a bit of time every day that's absolutely non-child or autism related, but then I usually end up feeling guilty because I'm not researching, doing therapy etc.

Any ideas on how to find the balance between "you", and "you as a mom"?

I hope that C's had a good transition back to school!

Suzy said...

To C

LOVE the person you are.


Anonymous said...

Hm... I could think of quite a few questions ;-)

What books do you read? And what is your secret dream of life, your "plan B"?
(Mine is buying some lonely cottage in GB, having sheep in the garden and spend the time writing novels.)

BBC said...

Any indication that C can read some?

Or comprehend such things as stop signs and traffic lights?

Have a safe trip, be careful out there, the world is full of random events.

BBC said...

Be good?

Define good. :-)

DJ Kirkby said...

Fantatic! I never saw this post and I love it! May I take a copy for my blog sidebar please?

PI said...

I'm stealing time at this moment so forgive me for a question which no doubt would be answered by reading archives. Are you the sole carer for C?

her indoors said...

Casdok the rap is brilliant, it says it all. i have nothing but praise for you, for being a wonderful mum you are amazing and so is C.
me question - at what age was C diagnosed and how did you feel when you found out?

abstractjenn said...

Excellent rap! We'll miss you while you are away. I'll be thinking of a question.

Tera said...

Kaeden, what is autism to you? I asked him. I dunno, he replied. What does autism mean, I pried? I DUNNO!!! he screamed. Then he came to see what I was doing on the computer. Why do you wanna know that? he asked? I answered, "I told this lady I would ask you what autism is because she has a son with autism and he can't speak to tell her what it means to him. So I told her I would ask you so you could explain it to her." He got quiet and thoughtful, and then began stamping and getting angry. I decided to just let it go to prevent an outburst. But, he didn't want to let it go. "Does her son scream and get mad too?"
he asked me. I answered that he puts his fingers in his ears to keep all the sounds out. "Yeah, cuz autism is like screaming. And you get so mad and then you are so angry and everyone won't leave you alone and then..." I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS he screamed. He sat on the couch and I watched as his eyes made their quick, jittery movements. Then he came and stood behind me. "It is hard to say what autism is, cuz I dunno what it is. All I know is that it makes me very naughty sometimes and when I am naughty and you talk to me I get even more mad." Then he asked me more about C. "Why does he bang his head?" Kaeden asked. "Maybe because he gets too excited or stressed out," I answered. "Yeah, and when I get nervous I scream." "So, you think autism is kind of like a scream?" I asked him. "I dunno." "Would you like to ask C's mama anything?" I asked him. "Yeah, I want to know why C bangs his head on the wall. And I wanna know why his name is C...just C" he laughed. And I, as the mother of an autistic son, would like to know: has C ever spoken? Have you ever felt that you have been able to truly communicate with him? Sometimes, even though Kaeden is verbal, I feel as though our communication is non-existent. I do not understand him, and he gets mad at me for what I think is nothing. But then, he tells me he loves me and I'm the best mama in the world in our special bedtime moments and it'sa ll I need to know I am doing okay. What signs give you reason to believe that you are doing okay?

Sorry this is so long, but I really wanted to post about Kaeden's definition of autism. I think it tells us a great deal about what being 12 and autistic means. Oh, and I know when he's in a meltdown he doesn't comprehend what he's doing, but it truly is naughty behavior, none-the-less.

dawn said...

Okay since I haven't been with you from the beginning i would like to know how long it took to diagnosis C.

Maddy said...

Hmm another promising career move? Have a break break.

Marla Fauchier Baltes said...

I would like to know about Casdok...did you go to college? What do you like to do for fun? What gives you your strength? What is your favorite hobby?

Patti said...

The last line sums it up. "Don't pity me just let me be."

I feel the same about my husband who is disabled.

mike stanton said...

If your lives were a movie, whichone would it be?

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Great rap! I love it. :-)

Wade said...

My question is quite simple actually . . . how do you do it?

Like the rest of us, sometimes I read your blog in such amazement.

Christy said...

That was just awesome. I mean seriously, it was awesome. You should find a way to get that published (in addition to it being on this blog).

Mike M said...

That is a pretty good rap. We need to put in to music and make a rap start out of you :)

DaisyDeadhead said...

I am curious about where you were born, and where your parents and family is from.

Milkmaid said...

I thought we already knew quite a bit about you, great rap C

Pixie said...

That's some good rap. And i know rap I have to listen to enough of it.

So here's your question what outside of being C's, mum what are you most proud of having acheived.

cher said...

your writing always gives me chills. thank you for sharing and i absolutely LOVED this post.

QUASAR9 said...

Cool Rap

Now if he could 'learn' that
and you put it to music
you can bet it would sell.

QUASAR9 said...

ok Casdok, here's the question:
"Do you get to be anything other than a 24 hour nurse, or does C literally absorb all of your time"

In other words is C more than a handful, is C a 24 hour job.

Anonymous said...

I will most likely be safe, and not "good"

Miss you already!


Get Off My Lawn! said...

Questions? How much time do you manage to take for yourself on average? Remember, no one is any good to anyone if they're not taking care of themselves. What do you do that is just for you... besides blogging?

Bonnie Arnwine said...

What do you do for fun? My favorite thing is to sit in my backyard with a cup of coffee.

Anonymous said...

That is so creative, very well done.

My ? is...what do you do for fun?

Samantha said...

I have a question. Scientology says that people with disabilities are non/un human. How do comments like that make you feel, knowing that people like that won't accept that your son is a person?

captain corky said...

I like it a lot! Have a good trip.

Rachel said...

My question: Do you socialise?
I mean not when your on your own but with C, do you have a social life with lots of friends and outings where you can relax and not be constantly watching C?

OK I have another one: Do you work? It must be a full time job when you have C and I can't imagine you being able to work. I realise he has a PA but are you also working independently?

OK last one and this is personal and you don't have to answer it: Were you and C's father together when he was diagnosed and if so does he still have an active part of his life?

I can't tell you how much I have learnt about autisim from you and I think rather than being called Mother of Shrek, you should be called something like Superwomen because you just amaze me with your love and warm and energy towards your beautiful son.

Big Dutch said...

I want to know how tall you are!

Greetings from Danbusy CT USA. I'm here on business. I love your eyes!

BBC said...

Samantha.... Scientology, what a stupid religion. Don't get me started on Scientology, the man died insane even though they hide that from us very well so that they can keep building their rich empire.

I may die crazy because we are all crazy, even Einstein knew that, but I won't die insane.

Actually, my best hope is to die in my lovers arms during a cosmic busting climax. I'm guessing that it is her best hope also.

No big deal, it's just two human bodies in an omnipresent spiritual cosmic stew that we create.

It's cool when we find each other though. Okay Billy, shut up, you are talking over most folks heads.

"Well, I know that, this comment is here for the future, not the present, it's too deep for the present."

Assuming of course that she never deletes this blog when she is done with it. Darn, I sure get deep at times, only the best swimmers venture out into the deep end of my brain pool and understand me, or try to.

Elissa said...

Just thought of my question - where do you find support in life?

Philip. said...

Have a great time!! :-)

My question - does it get any easier for you as time goes on?

Tom Foolery (TF) said...

Fab Rap,

If you were granted one wish what would it be?


Anonymous said...

How are you?

Casdok said...

Thank you Craig!
Do you want the short or long version??!!!

But Why? said...

What did you do before blogging?

Is C aware that the two of you have a fan club?

What one thing which other people could do/not do would make the biggest difference to you and C?

Fancy doing London things sometime?

Superb post xx

Casdok said...

But Why?
What did i do before blogging?!! House work! What did you do?!
Would love to do a London thing!
And i love that question, what would make the biggest difference to C and i. I will definetly put some thought into that.
Thank you.

But Why? said...

All sorts of things, including reading The Economist, gardening, writing real, proper letters with stamps on them (instead of pointing friends to my blog) and drinking larger quantities of alcohol (not one I miss). xx

Odat said...

wow...that was soooo have lots of talent!

Sara said...

I really like the rap. Thats awesome. Have a wonderful time!