If Shrek's Mom Had Only Been Sterile~By John Jenkins
To the tune of The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
For sparing a child, but killing a boar in the wild,
PETA should sue Snow White's woodsman bumpkin.
And in Farquaad's scheme, instead of a pampered queen,
Cinderella would become a pumpkin!
The princess who slept on a pea now should be kept
The next time Jack's seen, he won't trade his cow for beans,
If kids were able to learn these improved fables,
Since it can't be known what's in the chromosomes,
That might come out of an ogre's barrel
And since Shrek got wed to that funny redhead,
I now hope that Fiona is sterile.
The stories live on from Pinocchio on down,
And my tolerance is growing punier.
But it could be worse (this song might need one more verse),
If Fiona gave birth to Shrek Junior!