Wednesday, 29 August 2007

Empty

It has been a long day. 6 trains, 3 taxi's. It’s a draining day, leaving my son in the hands of others. But I console myself in the knowledge they can give him more than I can on my own. The local services are not equip for him.
My house is quiet and still. I feel empty and bereft. It takes about a week to get ‘used’ to the empty feeling, but it never goes away. There is a hole in my heart.

I used to cry for days after leaving him. Now the tears don’t come but they are still there.
Tomorrow I will change his empty bed.
Tomorrow I will paint the smile back on my face.

Tonight I am going to have some wine and sleep.

4 comments:

Blossomcottage said...

Is a tough call leaving your children in the hands of others, and it muct be even tougher for you. I worry myself sick when I leave my dogs!!!. Enjoy your glass of wine and I will be thinking of you.
Blossom

Billy Boy said...

I guess it will be a larger glass..then maybe another one...
Sleep well young one and the jaw ache goes soon.....billy boy

UN PEU LOUFOQUE said...

I can only imagine the feeling of being bereft you feel, it is no good even trying to offer words of support as a stranger but I do offer them anyway.

Helen said...

I am sorry - this must be very hard for you sending a (((hug))) - but it will be important for him and you and he has you in his heart, I am sure!