It has been a long day. 6 trains, 3 taxi's. It’s a draining day, leaving my son in the hands of others. But I console myself in the knowledge they can give him more than I can on my own. The local services are not equip for him.
My house is quiet and still. I feel empty and bereft. It takes about a week to get ‘used’ to the empty feeling, but it never goes away. There is a hole in my heart.
I used to cry for days after leaving him. Now the tears don’t come but they are still there.
Tomorrow I will change his empty bed.
Tomorrow I will paint the smile back on my face.
Tonight I am going to have some wine and sleep.